tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post4851316188316409439..comments2023-10-24T14:51:45.756+02:00Comments on Bloggertropolis: Tough But Cautious LoveStevehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-34068501271392591192012-01-30T11:32:37.389+01:002012-01-30T11:32:37.389+01:00Have no useful input for you here Steve, but it ha...Have no useful input for you here Steve, but it has been interesting to see what all the others say....these truly are strange times and I hope you are working out what works for you and yours with your usual sense..........that guillotine comment is stuck in my head now!libbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05552884005601003691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-56205099743978307142012-01-30T00:31:31.982+01:002012-01-30T00:31:31.982+01:00Sign of the times - and we're the worse for it...Sign of the times - and we're the worse for it too. But these concerns have an inevitable almost unstoppable logic.The bike shedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05195882998271591934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-20196506487941740052012-01-27T22:23:29.711+01:002012-01-27T22:23:29.711+01:00Interesting. I know a teacher here in the US who w...Interesting. I know a teacher here in the US who was pulled in and questioned for just putting an arm across empty air when a kid was running down the hallway. Not only would they send that form but ask you to sign. Your son sounds great, i always found my boys to be like puppies forever...constantly in need of a run.About Last Weekendhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04716571630418078937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-39926373908703705672012-01-27T18:55:04.939+01:002012-01-27T18:55:04.939+01:00Ah yes. As a teacher I can so relate. A couple d...Ah yes. As a teacher I can so relate. A couple days ago a nearby school had a six year old decide he didn't want the lunch being served, and proceeded to walk out of the school and a half a mile towards home. No one noticed except mother who was at home. Of course the going opinion is that it was the schools fault. I don't know. I do know he would have gotten a spanking if he were my child (and I basically never spanked my own.) On the other hand if you so much as pass a hand near some children they will yell OW! and fall to the ground, the force is strong in me I guess. It might be time to practice planned refusals to your son,nip it in the bud before it becomes I want a sports car, or I want to be the Captain of the football team.Megnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-90473780579818119302012-01-26T10:08:51.184+01:002012-01-26T10:08:51.184+01:00Coming in late to the conversation so just hoping ...Coming in late to the conversation so just hoping things are settling down at nursery for Tom.Trishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00119443727504215312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-90234585663739195572012-01-25T09:02:34.888+01:002012-01-25T09:02:34.888+01:00Jon: ours is the opposite and at the moment I'...Jon: ours is the opposite and at the moment I'd rather he was a devil at home where I know we can deal with effectively. At the moment I am genuinely doubting the nursery's competence.<br /><br />Nota Bene: sometimes letting the pack regulate itself is the best way... most nursery's are so bound up with H&S guff these days that they won't allow it to happen. <br /><br />Marginalia: you are not serious??<br /><br />Very Bored in Catalunya: what is most annoying is that they won't adopt the approach we take at home which has proven to work... they constantly chop and change their approach and wonder why Tom is confused.<br /><br />Löst Jimmy: it's not rocket science, is it?<br /><br />Owen: in my experience kids respond well to boundaries. Of course, they'll regularly test them to check they're stil there but that is in the nature of being a child.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-64017654263612301602012-01-24T23:50:40.786+01:002012-01-24T23:50:40.786+01:00Am all for boundaries, strictly enforced, physical...Am all for boundaries, strictly enforced, physically if necessary, of course without brutality or abuse. See far too many examples around of children raised without limits, without exception the results are disastrous. Strange times, where we fear to punish children who need it, and fail to keep criminals in jail... strange times.Owenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12622587942009516590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-63113219879115665112012-01-24T21:49:21.270+01:002012-01-24T21:49:21.270+01:00Chokeholds, waterboarding and sleep deprivation ap...Chokeholds, waterboarding and sleep deprivation apparently works as proven down Guantanamo way.<br />But I would recommend hugs in the case of your budding wee bulldozer, he'll be fine.Löst Jimmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09907139441842698894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-74474422609392350632012-01-24T20:01:52.851+01:002012-01-24T20:01:52.851+01:00Sometimes I am really, truly glad that I am bringi...Sometimes I am really, truly glad that I am bringing my children up in Spain. <br /><br />This constant necessity to cover one's arse is very sad, but I suspect going to get a lot worse while ever there are parents who won't allow their precious offspring to be reprimanded, touched etc. <br /><br />To me leaving your child in nursery is consent enough for the staff to do whatever necessary (within reason) to get the child to behave in an appropriate manner. Kids need to be able to take discipline from all adults not just their parents.Very Bored in Catalunyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07695203425270299420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-5697834380677110932012-01-24T15:54:38.824+01:002012-01-24T15:54:38.824+01:00When I was a kid we had a guillotine in the play r...When I was a kid we had a guillotine in the play room with loads of (headless)toys. In the morning there would be some poor hapless doll or animal with its head on the block.<br /><br />Any misbehaving from any of us kids the doll got it. Really was a great disincentive to misbehave. However, it gave most of us a warped idea of career choices.Marginaliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01175372147298306908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-3446116325711981912012-01-24T14:04:30.229+01:002012-01-24T14:04:30.229+01:00Interestingly I sat with someone a while ago who w...Interestingly I sat with someone a while ago who was amused that their child (five of six years old) ran riot and had a habit of regularly punching the other kids. I felt like punching him. I'm all for kids dishing out what they need to in order that the kids can grow up knowing what's right and what's wrong. Too many parents have the oddest way of bringing up their offspring.Nota Benehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00969705852180234416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-20481348751998186522012-01-24T09:50:55.491+01:002012-01-24T09:50:55.491+01:00I have the opposite situation: 5 y/o daughter is a...I have the opposite situation: 5 y/o daughter is a dream child at all times when at school but demonstrates a tendency to Satan's spawn when at home. Most irksome. I mean, the teachers are paid to keep order: I have to do it buckshee.Jonhttp://www.vendeeblog.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-15093682383441504672012-01-24T08:37:57.318+01:002012-01-24T08:37:57.318+01:00Being Me: not that long ago, my friend! The nurser...Being Me: not that long ago, my friend! The nursery on the whole is excellent but sometimes, just sometimes, they do things which are a little bit backwards which is odd given how long they've been running.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-4670715427461428712012-01-23T23:26:41.796+01:002012-01-23T23:26:41.796+01:00Oh I feel much more relieved with your further exp...Oh I feel much more relieved with your further explanation. I've worked in enough child care centres in my past to know the corners that can be cut. Eye-opener to say the least. Mind you, most recent position I've held was something like 18 years ago now so really.... I'm pulling on my memory of what it was like in practically the "Olden Days".Being Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08600427311498297800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-73613498458006244042012-01-23T23:09:08.086+01:002012-01-23T23:09:08.086+01:00Being Me: there's no worry; they've been v...Being Me: there's no worry; they've been very clear... things like steering him gently by his shoulders, or with another carer lifting him up beneath his arms if they need to move him (in the case of a fire alarm, etc). And they are too working to head off tantrums - giving him fair warning, etc, and rewarding good behaviour. All of which is working. I think they also accept that he was unsettled by 2 key careworkers leaving after Christmas... naturally it made him push the boundaries to see if they were still there in this new world order. All in all it's working - he was very good last week and is becoming more conscious of his behaviour and what is expected of him. Like I said: it's a learning curve and he's on it. ;-)<br /><br />The fly in the web: if only. When I was a kid being told off by a family friend or the parent of a school friend was deeply shameful; more so than being told off by my own parents. And therefore very effective.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-41615829060746719942012-01-23T22:54:28.041+01:002012-01-23T22:54:28.041+01:00I grew up at a time and in a place when any adult ...I grew up at a time and in a place when any adult would stop a child doing something anti social or just plain daft. <br />Children seemed to be a collective responsibility, and if that involved grabbing a child, it involved grabbing a child.<br /><br />Could we have a law laying down penalties for parents who won't let anyone give their child a ticking off?the fly in the webhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04563871975125538755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-19598481388910667122012-01-23T22:45:31.749+01:002012-01-23T22:45:31.749+01:00I'm not comfortable with this at all. Do you t...I'm not comfortable with this at all. Do you think there is any chance you could have some more dialogue with the centre about what circumstances would warrant them to "carefully restrain" your son. And what exactly that means. A firm arm hold sitting on the floor with him, with him facing away? That's the only thing I can think of. But why does he work into that state that they would grant it necessary to restrain him in any way? I can't help thinking if they tried harder to head him off at the pass - at the very least, work with you to find out what triggers him and/or what things you and Karen say and what methods you use at home - so that they can keep the situations better managed.<br /><br />This sounds a bit sloppy to me, Steve. Sorry. No reflection on the establishment at ALL... I just think perhaps they haven't thought outside the box on this one. Have they tried absolutely everything else?<br /><br />If they're not willing to work with you, they need a kick in the fishmongers (oh I am SO using that, every day if I can.. bloody brilliant!)Being Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08600427311498297800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-73728748679361939182012-01-23T22:19:24.647+01:002012-01-23T22:19:24.647+01:00Katriina: hugs is an interesting one. Our young &#...Katriina: hugs is an interesting one. Our young 'uns loves hugs and the careworkers at the nursery are happy to dole them out... but I do worry that he'll find the transition to schooll difficult where such things are not allowed, even for reception class pupils.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-8148752669441762222012-01-23T21:43:29.621+01:002012-01-23T21:43:29.621+01:00Agree completely, Steve. Teachers here in Finland ...Agree completely, Steve. Teachers here in Finland seem to be a bit less hung up on the "no contact" rule, and I've seen hugs, arm-drags to time-out, children being gently hugged and patted to sleep, and overall a quite refreshingly "normal" approach. Children don't do well without affection, nor without strict boundaries, and it seems odd that daycare providers should have to try to provide good care to children without actually making physical contact!Katriinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08403719183047819222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-63826903541406527692012-01-23T20:51:19.535+01:002012-01-23T20:51:19.535+01:00John: oh if only fishmongers was a euphemism! I ma...John: oh if only fishmongers <i>was</i> a euphemism! I may have to start using it that way: "shut up or you'll get a smack in the fishmongers!" My granddad used to talk fondly of being belted around the ear by the local bobby for swinging on the lampposts and then getting a belt around the ear from his dad after the bobby had headed to his home to tell what he'd done.<br /><br />Those were the days!Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-3024709960257749882012-01-23T20:40:52.973+01:002012-01-23T20:40:52.973+01:00we have a society that is totally frightened of to...we have a society that is totally frightened of touching others......especially children<br /><br />it sickens and depressesme.... oh I remember those wonderful days in 1973 when my mother smacked another woman's child in the fishmongers for calling her fat<br />( by stating fishmonger I mean the shop not a nickname for the arse!)John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-67595708839791862212012-01-23T20:39:27.123+01:002012-01-23T20:39:27.123+01:00Gorilla Bananas: I'd love a visit from Super N...Gorilla Bananas: I'd love a visit from Super Nanny. Sadly I think she'd be more interested in my kids.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-32198636050575325222012-01-23T20:32:00.819+01:002012-01-23T20:32:00.819+01:00He must have refused to sit on the naughty chair -...He must have refused to sit on the naughty chair - that's the only explanation. Haven't you taught your children to sit on the naughty chair when they're told? I think you need a visit from Super Nanny.Gorilla Bananashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044093013423635830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-45828834809661368852012-01-23T20:24:02.277+01:002012-01-23T20:24:02.277+01:00Kelloggsville: I agree. In other societies the rai...Kelloggsville: I agree. In other societies the raising of kids is a group, communal endeavour. Sadly, in these troublesome times, the friendly neighbour of old who at one time would have been an "auntie" or "uncle" (and I had loads of these as a child) are now viewed with suspicion and distrust. I realize kids have to be kept safe from abusers - applaud anything that ensures it - but if we're not careful we'll be planting the seeds of total xenophobia in our the minds of our young.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133900289384226725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35009574.post-6701716849098331032012-01-23T20:05:35.102+01:002012-01-23T20:05:35.102+01:00Difficult pointy finger times. How differently man...Difficult pointy finger times. How differently many parents think to me always amazes me. I would have been grateful if someone had tried to stop my child running in front of a car. When I stopped a neighbours child from running out by grabbing onto them she was angry with me. It was mainly because I had said 'NO, STAND STILL' loudly and nobody (I found out) is allowed to tell her son off. I feel that all adults have a responsibility to ensure children don't do themselves or other harm, with or without a bit of paper. Sad pointy finger times.AGuidingLifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05823333742737762759noreply@blogger.com