Monday, January 07, 2013

Stamp

Previous readers (and I am grateful that I can still use the plural) of this blog will know that I suffer a negative knee-jerk reaction when confronted televisually by comedian Ross Noble.

With the help of karmic breathing exercises, Valium and copious amount of chloroform I am now finally able to resist the traditional overpowering urge to launch my foot into the TV screen whenever Ross Noble appears and follow through with an uppercut of Street Fighter proportions. 

Because it isn’t him, it’s me. I am the problem.

I totally get and accept that.

He’s a nice bloke. He’s an ordinary bloke made good and it’s great that he’s made a name for himself. And everyone says what a nice chap he is. And a lot of people find him funny and warm and just nicely hilarious and off-the-wall without being offensive.

But his style of delivery winds me up something chronic and after just 30 seconds of one of his crazy Geordie monologues I have bitten my own teeth down to the gums and am chewing on my own tongue in frustration that I cannot do violence unto the true object of my wrath.

As I said, it’s not Ross’s fault. It’s nothing he’s done. It’s a genetico-biologico-social thing to do with me. He just doesn’t tick any of my comedy boxes whilst ticking all of my irritability boxes.

He makes me go grrrr!

There, I’ve said it.

Sorry Ross, I don’t find you funny. I’m sure you couldn’t give a hoot ‘cos lots of other people plainly do.

But your DVD did make me laugh out loud the other day...

...though not for any reason you can take credit for.

Ross Noble
I’m assuming that the mystery shop assistant who applied the price tag and I are of a like mind.

17 comments:

libby said...

'Fessing up to not liking someone popular is a bit rebellious isn't it?
I must admit I don't 'get' Miranda Hart/Mrs Browns boys/Lee Evans......and yet the people at work shriek with laughter talking about all of them.....I know...it's me that is out of step......but Ross Noble..he's ok...sorry Steve!

Steve said...

Libby: s'ok! I like Miranda Hart and Mrs Brown's Boys... each to their own, I guess.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I like him because he was a fan Frankie Howerd. He also made a funny joke about the Brazilian football team going out for their next game dressed as foxes after one of their players said "sometimes you've got to be sly in football". Got a problem with Geordie accents?

Steve said...

Gorilla Bananas: I love Frankie Howerd. And I liked Jimmy Nail and Auf Weidersehen Pet. And I like Sarah Millican - though technically I think she's a macam rather than a Geordie. Does that answer your question?

Suburbia said...

Perfect placement!

Being Me said...

Ah you would be in good company with my Steve, then. He can't stand poor old harmless Ross. We had him over here for a time, you know, when he moved to Australia. He was on the telly all the time then. I was neither here nor there, liked him but then realised maybe I didn't enjoy his slurpy, hair-tucking delivery (it does grate, I'll agree/admit).

And then he lost everything in the Black Saturday fires here in Vic. and hearing him talk ever so briefly about it made me warm to him. For life. Sorry!

Love the price tag clerk's work. If only for your amusement (and relief that perhaps someone else is in your corner on this one).

Steve said...

Suburbia: it must surely have been deliberate?!

Being Me: looks like me and price tag clerk are going to be a lonesome twosome...

Fran said...

The one who annoys me is that Lee Nelson one who acts like a street kid - I can't bear it. My favourite at the moment is Kevin Bridges.

Marginalia said...

There you go again. Nothing but filth.

Mind you, bit strange having a DVD that's about your nob.

I get him confused with Russ Abbot.

P.S. How I hate these "Please prove you're not a robot" security tags.

1637 nRectat - bollocks

Vicky said...

Ross is constantly on tv shows here in OZ and I don't mind him but Russell Brand on the other hand is a complete tosser and I can't watch or listen to him.

Steve said...

Fran: his style of delivery is annoying but I do think he is, like, well funny.

Marginalia: love the Russ Abbot jibe... wish I'd thought of that. As for the word verification business... sorry, but I was having more spam than proper emails without it.

Vicky: don't even get me started on Russell Brand!

Rol said...

I obviously feel the same about Michael McCuntyre. I was in That London late last year when he came skipping down the street past me, being an arse and laughing at his own supreme humourosity. Louise had to hold me back from punching him.

Another sadly lost opportunity... like the time I could have dropped a greeny on Liam Gallagher's head... but somehow thought the better of it.

Steve said...

Rol: you should have dropped that greeny, you know... it will haunt you forever as a lost opportunity.

Löst Jimmy said...

I'm not being funny but what's a macam?

Steve said...

Löst Jimmy: I believe a Macam is from Sunderland as opposed to a Geordie who's from from Newcastle.

Löst Jimmy said...

Thanks

Steve said...

Löst Jimmy: no worries.