Friday, November 30, 2007

Ebay Is Evil

I’m supposed to be shopping on-line for Christmas presents for my nearest and dearest so why is it I’ve just blown a good £100 on Ebay buying tat for myself?

I do the same thing every year and then (a) feel guilty at the amount of money I’ve spent on myself – which isn’t to say that I haven’t lavished far more of my hard earned moolah on my loved ones than on greedy old, little old me – and then (b) spend January feeling glum, broke and abstemious in an attempt to restore the balance.

As far as I’m concerned me and Ebay are lethal.

It all starts off innocently enough. Ooh, I think, I’ll just have a little punt on this item here and bingo I bid a couple of quid. Suddenly that most gossamer of connections between me and “the dream item” becomes intractable and concrete in my head. The item is MINE. MINE I tell you. How dare someone gazump me with a higher bid! I’ll just venture a few more pounds...

But £5 is absolutely my ceiling. No question of going any higher.

Damn. Outbid.

Ok. Ok. £10 is my absolute ceiling.

Poo. Right. £15...

Etc, etc.

By the time I’ve finished I’m foaming at the mouth but victorious and have blown £40 on something that I’m not sure is really essential in the first place.

And I do the same thing every bloody year!

No wonder I normally avoid Ebay like the plague.

Bah humbug.

Anybody care to purchase a genuine Royal Doulton Toby Jug? Only two careful owners...

17 comments:

The Hitch said...

eBAY is worse than crack

I have a huge collection of toy cannons, I bought one then couldnt stop, it was the pleasure of beating others.
Also bought a load of webley air pistols, now they were banned by ebay, so I used to send a mail to the seller letting them know this and would they please contact me after the auction was taken down, then I would grass them up to ebay so that I could buy them for nothing (+:

Steve said...

Hitch, you're right - the pleasure in beating someone else to an item is definitely a huge part of the buzz. I have on occasion caught myself laughing evilly when I have gazumped someone, especially if I have been playing "Ebay chicken" and done it at the very last second before the auction closes... hyuk! Hyuk!

Regarding your tactics for acquiring banned contraband... very sneaky, very clever. I like your style.

Rol Hirst said...

Weird thing about pre-Christmas is that I too spend more money on myself this month than I do the rest of the year... even though I'm supposed to be buying for other people.

I think the thing is, I don't spend a lot of time looking for stuff to buy the rest of the time... but once I start, I'm bound to stumble across rubbish I just HAVE to have!

Steve said...

Rol, I think you've hit the nail right on the head. I tend to shun shopping of any kind most of the year to save money and not torment myself... suddenly come Christmas I'm hitting the stores both on the street and on-line and being presented with all the things I "missed out on" earlier in the year. My miser's grip on my money is loosened too as I'm "buying for other people"... not a good combination. I wonder if Richard Branson will bail me me out if I go under financially...?

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Luckily I manage to restrict myself to the odd electric toothbrush every 2-3 years.

Have just treated myself to the latest Sonicare one for £89 (reduced from £149). It's amazing - my teeth have never felt so smooth, fresh and zingy! But then I did have to spend hundreds on them a few years ago to sort out gum disease problems, so the way I see it, better to give them the Rolls Royce treatment than be faced with £2,000-per-tooth implant bills in the future. And my hygienist is £60 a twice-yearly visit too.
On the plus side, I now have the teeth and gums of a 23 year old!

Steve said...

Laura, I'm jealous - I'd love to get my teeth sorted out professionally... tweaked and moulded into something that would make Tom Cruise turn green with envy. Sadly I don't have the money to do it... having just blown it all on tat from Ebay. Hmm. Maybe I ought to search for a dentist on Ebay instead...? Get my teeth fixed by auction. Hmm. Now there's an idea...

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I should point out that my teeth are still crooked Steve!

And no false enamels either - I've merely spent a lot on saving my existing (natural) set!

But quick off-topic tip, if your gums are dark pink, instead of light pink and bleed easily when brushing, find yourself a good hygienist quick! Whatever it costs, it will save an awful lot of money and heartache in the long term.

Annie said...

Hehe what a good idea... or perhaps you could search for DIY dentistry equipment. A decent drill, a couple of crowns and some gas and you're laughing :-)

Steve said...

Thankfully I have a pretty decent dentist Laura who gave me a good going over with the scrape and polish a while back and warned me about gum disease and her personal quest to end it...!

Hi Annie, might give the drills a miss but the laughing gas could be fun...! ;-)

TimeWarden said...

I prefer to become addicted to things that aren't likely to cause me any great expenditure so (Time) Lord knows why I'm a "Doctor Who" fan!!

Steve said...

Hi TimeWarden, I must admit DVDs and books - especially TV tie-ins - are a bit of a soft spot for me too. I've just bought Gene Hunts Guide To Policing from the Life On Mars people... very, very funny.

Daisy said...

i used to be like that on ebay too steve...i have to limit my "visits"...i end up buying all kinds of collectibles...and i don't collect anything...yeah i know but the appeal of getting something good for what appears a good price, i can't resist!

Steve said...

Daisy, I think you're right - rationing my Ebay experiences is the only answer... either that or going cold turkey...

The Sagittarian said...

My mother-in-law gets "auction fever"...I have some lovely pink spotted dresses and ugly brown pottery to prove it. Wanna play swapsees this Xmas, Steve?? I should warn you, I also have a tin of White Fungus in Aspic from a game I played earlier...

Steve said...

Hi Amanda - a tin of White Fungus in Aspic, eh? Hmm. I think you might beat me hands down! All I bought (being a sad git) were some classic Lego sets from the early eighties...!

The Hitch said...

Steve
Breathe into a paper bag before bidding.
It helps, not drinking also helps.
As ebay no longer sells weapons, porn or didgy gear I cant think of a single reason to visit.
PS
I you are in the market for some toy cannons im your man*pleads* (+:

Steve said...

Hitch, I will certainly bear that in mind...! (The toy cannons that is - not the no drinking...)