Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Shooting Yourself In The Foot

PeperamiIt’s official. Sun beds are as dangerous to one’s health as smoking or asbestos.

Or even smoking asbestos.

Pasty faced scientists all across Europe are unanimous. There is a definite link between the use of sun beds and skin cancer.

Doh.

Like this isn’t bleeding obvious.

I mean, let’s face it, a sun tan is nothing more than toasted skin. When you endeavor to acquire a sun tan you are effectively cooking yourself. This can never be a good thing. Never. Not in anyone’s book.

Well. Not unless that book belongs to the person who is in charge of the multimillion pound industry that thrives on the cheques and credit cards of the “desperate to be brown”.

There was a mini debate about it all on breakfast TV this morning.

In the white corner, fighting the good fight on behalf of all us “pale and interesting” folk was a pretty young blonde thing with perfect skin and the vital glow of good health. If she was a plant she would be a tender young succulent.

In the black corner, emitting no doubt the faint scent of eradiated carbon was the High Priestess of the Sun Beds Association. I won’t embarrass her by revealing her name. Suffice it to say that if the Government wants someone to appear on a warning poster advising people about the dangers of sun bed abuse this lady would be perfect. If she was a plant she would be a charcoal brick.

The words “wizened”, “desiccated” and “smoked kipper” came to mind. One overly dry gust of wind and she would have exploded into a pillar of salt.

After seeing her I didn’t need to hear the details about the scientific research.

I was totally convinced.

Factor 50 for me from now on.


18 comments:

skatey katie said...

lol that is one vice i haven't been able to extriKATE myself from - lying in the sun is SO therapeutic.
not jinxing anything tho.
i do try to time myself.... X

Clippy Mat said...

just watched an item on breakfast TV here on the same thing; sans the smoked kipper/high priestess wifey though hehe. too bad about that. i could just picture her. :-)

Steve said...

Katie: just make sure you keep yourself nicely basted and to open the oven door when the buzzer goes! ;-)

Clippy Mat: she looked like she'd been carved out of driftwood... not a good look!

EmmaK said...

Go shoot me but I like a bit of a tan. I don't burn so I consider this a calculated risk. I think I look sunkissed. Reality is that those spray tan booths look like Peter Stringfellow crossed with a pumpkin. There is no natural looking fake tan is what I mean.

The Sagittarian said...

Yeah, that baked look isn't too flash is it? My 11 yr old hates her "pastie white" legs with apassion but I ignore that and keep slapping on the sun block.
I reckon being pale I may well glow in the dark, thus being easier to locate!

Steve said...

Emma: I'm with you on fake tans. They stand out a mile. My sister had a bottle tan on her wedding day and I just couldn't bring myself to tell her she looked like she'd been covered with Bovril.

Amanda: being easier to locate in the dark...? Hmm. I can imgine the benefits of that would be many and slightly risque! ;-)

Brother Tobias said...

I did get myself a primitive sun lamp when I was about 18 and spectacularly unsuccessful in finding a girlfriend. It was no use at all, failing to rearrange my facial features or invest me with irresistable personality and charm.

Steve said...

Brother T: apparently purchasing a flash suit and a bright red sports car with a carbon footprint the size of Wales does that...! ;-)

KayDee said...

You can actually get a natural looking spray tan, well if you get it done professionally anyway. I have had it done on the odd special occasion otherwise I am perfectly happy with having white skin.

In a country that has the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world, there is no way I would ever lay out in the sun and bake myself to a crisp. I have no desire to look like a leather purse either.

Steve said...

KayDee: I think it's time for white skin to come back into fashion. What's wrong with looking like a nice bit of porcelain? as you rightly say, the leather look isn't at all attractive. Unless you're a 'gator of course.

French Fancy said...

I go for the pale English rose look myself - actually the pasty pinkish flushed look that seems to be my lot. Topped with a big straw hat to keep any sneaky rays from getting a hold.

Steve said...

FF: sounds divine - good for you! Let's keep the flag flying for "pale and interesting"!

A Write Blog said...

I prefer pale skin.

It looks - er - more naked.

And tan lines break up the smooth lines of a body too.

I think I'd better shut up now.

Steve said...

AWB: I'm the same - I prefer to see the good green earth without country borders or map lines. I think you know what I mean. ;-)

Owen said...

Funny thing, this tendency for people to want to be other than what they are naturally... some folks go for tanning, even if all the research shows it is harmful, other folks are named Michael Jackson...

Steve said...

Owen: unfortunately Michael Jackson was never a good advertisement for the attractiveness of "natural white skin"...!

MinorityReport said...

Just another fair skinned, 50 SPF wearing reader...great post.

Steve said...

MinorityReport: good to have you with us, sister!