Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"Ang Is A Sket"

This particularly informative piece of graffiti appeared on the road outside my house late last week. Applied with white aerosol paint the letters are about a foot high and each word has been rendered with a wobbly capital.

I have, I admit, been tempted to take a photo of it to publish it here for your delectation but, much as I love you all, being run over by a passing BMW or a souped-up moped doesn’t strike me as a suitable pay-off for my photographic skills so you’ll just have to use your imagination.

I had to Google the word "sket". I’m afraid I’ve long lost touch with street slang and youth speak but there are some bizarre resources available online which can bring one up to speed in no time at all (the Urban Dictionary being invaluable). Sket, for your information, means a loose woman of elastic morals. Or thereabouts. You get the picture I’m sure.

So basically some love-struck teen has discovered that his gal has been spooning some other chap behind his back and it’s soured his brandy somewhat to the point where he feels he must besmirch her good name in the nature of a painterly public broadcast announcement to warn all us other chappies to steer well clear of her unless we’re not averse to taking sloppy seconds.

How sweet.

I can’t help feeling sorry for Ang for all that she may be no angel. I can’t help but think of her every morning as the wife, kids and I pile into our little red Peugeot and inevitably drive over her name as we set off for our various destinations in town.

She’s been condemned without a fair trial. She may be innocent and of unblemished character but the tarmac now accuses her of base harlotry. She may even be guilty, may lie on her back nightly with a whole regiment of thrusting young bucks... but there may be mitigating circumstances. Maybe her "official" boyfriend is something of a sket himself or just plain nasty and she has sought comfort in the arms of someone more worthy and more understanding of her needs.

Whoever she is, I can’t help thinking how upset she must feel to see her name cast so indelibly to the dirt in this way. How awful if she lives in the same street (which presumably she does) and has to pass this graffiti every day with her parents or her siblings. What must they think? The shame must be burning her up inside.

I hoped, when I first saw the lettering, that a good rain shower or two might wash it all away. But no, Mr Paragon Of Virtue Himself saw fit to spray his snide little missive in permanent paint. Nearly a week later it’s still there, as bright and brazen as when it was first applied. Hester Prynne must be turning in her fictional grave.

Whoever you are, sir, I put it to you that there are worse things in life than being a sket.

Being petty and immature are two of them.


19 comments:

missbehaving said...

LOL, as a former 'sket' I'll tell you, Ang will get over it.
Did you look up 'spooning'or is it a word you use a lot?;)

Gina said...

Gosh I thought you had taken to speaking Danish or something. It looks rather like that to me.

I had no idea what a sket was either so thanks for enlightening me. At least I'll know the score if anyone scrawls Gina is a Sket outside my house.

Steve said...

MissBehaving: ha ha! No, I don't use spooning very often. I think I picked it up from Jeeves & Wooster and am sure it's a 1920's term for giving a gal a damn good kissing!

Gina: It'll never happen. And if it does I'll come round and kneecap them. Or as the young 'uns say these days: pop a cap in their ass. ;-)

KAZ said...

Your empathy is to be commended Steve.
Let's hope she takes comfort from the French habit of spraying the names of their Tour de France favourites on the tarmac to encourage them on their way.

Steve said...

Kaz: I guess the best cyclists are the ones that truly love riding their bikes...

French Fancy said...

I tried, I really tried to guess what your post was going to be about just from the title but do you know what? I was wrong.

So what can you do about permanent paint?

Steve said...

FF: Not sure, but me and a pneumatic drill acquired through eBay are gonna find out tomorrow morning...! ;-)

Pearl said...

Ang is a sket, huh?!

Beats the vandals that hit our garage last year. You guys have discovered that there are skets amongst you and we've come to find that "P33 W33" is "SL33PY".

I kid you not.

Pearl

Steve said...

Pearl: Pee Wee? As in Herman? Could be worse. Could have been Barney the Dinosaur. Now he really is cr33py.

Suburbia said...

Thanks for the dictionary link, I fear, as mine grow up, I may need it!

(Poor Ang)!

Tenon_Saw said...

This was a brilliantly written thumb nail sketch of your area of the UK. Your way with words is second to none, Steve, although the brevity of the comment in question is also to be applauded.

The Sagittarian said...

Crikey, your graffiti guys are conversationalist by our standards...we usually just get F*** You.
So, Sket must be like 'skank' over this way...hm...will keep watch!

Steve said...

Suburbia: I'm already finding it a treasure trove of information...!

Tenon_Saw: that's very kind, thank you, sir!

Amanda: yes, the ruffians around our way are (literally) pavement poets of the highest order... And yes, I think skank and sket are closely linked in their etymology....

Gypsy said...

Ang will be ok Steve, but bless your compassionate heart. She may have keyed his car in revenge or worse. Let's hope so....a girl has to protect her reputation.

Steve said...

Gyspy: I hope she's superglued his locks as well and sowed cress seed in his carpets...! ;-)

A Write Blog said...

I thought, 'Futuristic science fiction mumbo jumbo' when I read that.

Steve said...

AWB: it could definitely be a new language. In fact, it probably is.

The Crow said...

Good post, funny.

Steve said...

The Crow: thank you - glad you enjoyed it.