Monday, January 11, 2010

Lost And Found And Losing It

After days of moping about the house, dejectedly fingering bookcases, cupboards and drawers for a sign of my great Uncle’s missing spurs, I finally found them yesterday morning.

On top of the cabinet in the dining room, admittedly contained in a nondescript Marks & Spencer’s carrier bag, but in full view. I must have walked past the damned thing countless times in my search for them.

The sense of joy and relief I felt was akin to finding a, well, a long lost treasure, funnily enough. But this joyous feeling was matched by a corresponding sense of discomfort and chagrin at the realization that I cannot for the life of me recall putting them there.

I don’t doubt for an instant that it was me though.

It is a worrying thought that my heretofore prized memory has let me down so completely. I never lose things. Never. Or if I do misplace something the memory of where it is usually comes to me within a few days if I avoid thinking about it and just let it come in its own good time.

Not so this time. I’d been looking for the things for weeks. It was only by getting desperate and looking into every single box and bag, every nook and cranny that I found it. And even finding it didn’t jog my memory of actually putting it there.

Such a complete loss of memory is worrying. I’d even begun to wonder if maybe I’d lent the spurs to someone (unlikely) or even accidentally thrown them out in the post-Christmas sort-out (so unlikely as to be impossible). I’d really begun to doubt myself.

All I can think now is that the emotional trauma associated with the spurs and my granddad’s recent death somehow contrived to burn out a few brain cells. It was a one-off brought about by being in emotional extremis.

But in the meantime, just in case, I am going to start wearing a dog-tag with my name, home phone number and address on in case I am ever found wandering around a far-flung train station, drooling and looking confused.

Be careful next time you come across some unattended baggage – it might be me.


27 comments:

Rol said...

Get your mum to sew nametags in all your clothes like we used to have at school.

Or how about a tracking chip?

-eve- said...

*smiles*
Nice punch line :-)
Sounds like a good idea, though, lol - possibly if one's relatives do start going the way of memory loss and wandering around, it'd be good to put tracers on them too :-)

Steve said...

Rol: I've been tagged by the local constabulary - is that the same thing?

Steve said...

Eve: I always find a good bicycle lock stops them wandering away too far...! ;-)

Deirdre said...

Do you remember the film Harold and Maude?..the scene where she throws a ring he gives her into the lake? he is horrified but she says 'now I'll always know where it is'....I kinda like that..

Gina said...

Ah yes and you definitely need those gloves that thread through your coat sleeves so you cannot loose them. I have those of course!!

It's scary actually. I have been the same. My children are always telling me I have done something or said something and I have absolutely no recollection of it at all.

Or maybe they are having me on? Trying to make me believe I am mad?

Glad you found them anyway.

Steve said...

Deirdre: I'd kind alike to do that with my work desk. Just hoof it out of the window and into the river one day. Along with my mobile. People can always leave a message, can't they?

Gina: I think I may have to be handcuffed to everything that is essential to me. Purely for safe keeping. I'm sure the wife will have no objections...! ;-)

Tenon_Saw said...

Oh...darn....I've forgotten what I was going to type....

Steve said...

Tenon_Saw: do I know you...?

ArtSparker said...

Thing is, you put them somewhere safe, so you felt reassured, consequently forgetful. But as the years go by, this sort of thing may occur again, just so you know.

EmmaK said...

I know what you mean about having brain turn to mush. I am wondering if I can have myself chipped with personal information - under the skin.

Steve said...

ArtSparker: you're probably right. I'll have to start leaving things in ridiculously dangerous places just so I remember where I've put them. I wonder if I can get a last minute flight to Afghanistan?

Emma: what a splended idea. I quite fancy having a barcode on my arm or some kind of hologramatic projection installed in my head like R2D2. "Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope..." "Let go your feelings, use the force, check in the M&S bag on top of the dining room cabinet..." The problem could have been solved a lot sooner.

A Write Blog said...

At least you found them.

I prefer to think of these lapses, for I get them too, as memory 'overwrites'. Something akin to a tape or CD being recorded over by another memory.

Maybe when we are doing something that causes passion, pain or discomfort our memory gets confused as to what is important and records the wrong thing....

.....or subconciously discards it because it causes us more discomort than we care to admit.

The Sagittarian said...

Oh I know that scene from Harold and Maude (one of the best films ever in my opinion)...Steve, you need to tag things like Paddington Bear...or at least not worry too much until you need a "This way up" sign on your forehead!

Suburbia said...

Call it brain freeze, I mean, everything else is bloody freezing is't it? Now don't get me started on the snow.........

Gypsy said...

I think you probably unwittingly gave yourself the answer to your problem. You have been emotional and probably a bit stressed over your grandad's passing and no-one's brain really operates well under those circumstances.

If not though, and as I mentioned on the last post I think, it's quite fun at the bottom of the slippery slope. We get away with murder down here because we claim loss of memory for all our wrong doings. Let me know when you arrive and I'll introduce you around....er that's if I can remember anyone's names. Oh what the hell, they'll never remember ours either so it's all good. Now what was your name again?

Owen said...

Maybe you should get one of those implanted chips that people use for their pets, and/or an ear tattoo ?

But seriously, in this modern life of ours, I don't think anyone can possibly remember everything there is to remember... happens to the best of us... So not to worry, doesn't sound like precocious Alzheimers...

If my head wasn't attached to my shoulders I'd probably misplace it as well...

Selina Kingston said...

Oh Steve! It's quite simple. You're becoming ..... a woman!

This is what happens to us after we have babies and get on a bit. Welcome to my world, it's lovely to have you here.

Glad you found the medals though.

Now, what was it I was doing here in the first place .....

Steve said...

AWB: yes, I like that idea. Someone has placed a magnet too near my head and wiped my hard drive. I might try that excuse at work next time I mess up.

Amanda: I'd quite like a "handle with care" sign on my forehead. Or even "first class". He he he!

Suburbia: yes! That's what it was! Brain cells temporarily icing over. Now the thaw has started normal service can resume!

Gypsy: you're right. With memory loss comes total loss of responsibility and I can see how that could be a great advantage sometimes... hmm...!

Owen: I think I'm suffering from Homer Simpson syndrome - everytime I learn something new it pushes some of the old stuff out of my brain. Sometimes I don't even have to learn anything new...

Selina: does this mean I get to be really grumpy for a couple of days every month and buy lots of shoes?

KAZ said...

M&S carrier bags are so expensive these days you could be sure no one would throw it out.
The emotional trauma theory sounds about right to me

Steve said...

Kaz: that's very true. Thank God I didn't put them in a Tesco blue stripe bag... I'd have thrown them in the compost without a second thought...! ;-)

TheUndertaker said...

Haha, the comments are as funny as the post (although you didn't sound too amused over finally not remembering something)!
Does this mean you are actually becoming as human as the rest of us now???
Now I can see you microchipped (like a dog?), with nametags on every bit of clothing, name badge (large letters), a large sticker in your forehead saying 'This way Up', looking like Paddington Bear (lost) while trying to throw your grandfathers spurs in a lake (frozen). Oh, and carrying a bike lock. I think you might make the headlines!

Steve said...

TheUndertaker: yes, it is true. I am now made mortal and can bleed and breed like Connor McKleod in Highlander. I did have a claymore but I put it down somewhere safe and now I can't find it. I'm going to have a satellite receiver stapled to my forehead so my family can use a satnav to constantly check on my location. It's either that, the wife says, or a nusing home... and to tell the truth I don't fancy the thought of eating mashed potato through a straw.

Clippy Mat said...

I love to say I told you so!
I did.
:-)

Steve said...

Clippy Matt: I can't argue with that!

French Fancy said...

I am so glad you found them and how surprised you must have been. I too find things in funny places sometimes and have no recollection of how they got there. You have a busy job, life, family commitments - what's my excuse?

Steve said...

FF: I bet your life is just as full and busy as mine! Studying is damned hard work and hogs brain cells 24/7 - even when you don't have your nose in a book! It's all too easy to become preoccupied and forgetful of "real life".