Thursday, July 21, 2011

Howlin’ Mad Murdoch

A custard pie in the kisser for Rupert MurdochBeing of weak moral persuasion and a sucker for an old git in distress I found myself having a turncoat moment this week when I saw and read about the custard pie being thrust into the face of Rupert “Dr Evil” Murdoch.

I know he’s an avaricious, power grasping, devious, underhanded media mogul who cares little for the little man on the street other than how much spare change he’s willing to throw at his scurrilous newspapers and his satellite channels. I know he probably didn’t ask too many questions about how his minions acquired their scoops and exclusives other than “how little money do you want in your redundancy pay-off if you don’t get the story?” I know he looks like Arthur Askey in a baseball cap.

But, come on, guys. He’s 80 years old! He’s probably attached to a colostomy bag. He probably can’t remember the names of those closest to him (which is why he said of Rebekah Brooks – “my priority is to look after this one”). He’s probably being fed a diet of Viagra pills just so that his aides have something to keep him wedged upright under his desk with when he attends board meetings.

He’s an old man.

Sure, in the past I have spat at the mere mention of SKY. Sure I have wiped my metaphorical arse on the pages of The News Of The World. Sure I have lampooned all that he has stood for.

But a custard pie in the putz of an old man?

Is that an appropriate protest? Is that an appropriate way to display displeasure?

Isn’t it like Regan pulling Gloucester’s beard in King Lear? Ignobly done?

I know, I know. How much more ignoble have Murdoch’s minions behaved in their phone hacking activities? There can be few things lower than sifting through other people’s personal grief just to sell a few newspapers.

But even so. A custard pie in the face of an old man? It’s just not cricket, is it?

I don’t doubt the custard pie thrower (Phanton Flan Flinger – remember him, TISWAS fans?) thought he was striking a blow for us all.

“I was doin’ it for justice wun I? Doin’ it for you’s lot and all the uvvers that Murdoch and his team ‘ave trampled all over. Power to the people!”

Except he wasn’t, was he? He was doing it to get on the telly, for self publicity, to get (ironically) into the newspapers and (if he had any kind of business acumen) to publicise a new chain of pie shops that he’s about to open.

This whole thing has been enough of a circus as it is. And while I’d be quite happy to see Rebekah Brooks flung about in a skimpy leotard and fishnets on a trapeze (with me lying on the safety net down below) I don’t really want to have to witness Horlicks the Clown (standing in while Co-Co is on sabbatical) lowering proceedings even further with a short crust pastry base and whipped cream from a can.

Can we have a bit of dignity please? It’s been in short supply all round through this fiasco and would make a really nice change.



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28 comments:

Owen said...

Regardless of who pushed the cream pie in his face or why, I think he deserved it... because it is the only punishment he is going to get. The rest will just be money to pay off court costs, maybe a fine or two, which is nothing to him, but otherwise the despicable practices of his organisation will be simply swept under the proverbial rug, replaced by next week's dramatic distaster / scandal / war / famine / whatever. And maybe it should have been a colostomy bag to the face rather than inoffensive shaving cream or whatever it was. Seriously, hacking a dead girl's telephone, or hacking victims of 9/11 ? The moral bankruptcy under his leadership is phenomenal... (imho, of course)

Steve said...

Owen: I do take your point, Owen, and agree in the most part. I don't think he's going to get away scot free. I think, regardless of what the politicians and watchdogs decide people will vote with their pockets and I think his mighty empire will start haemorrhaging rather swiftly. It will be forever tainted. I think it's just a shame he wasn't nailed when he was young and virile and could take a damn good drubbing. There's something very tawdry about a young buck shoving a custard pie into the face of an octogenarian no matter who he is.

London City Mum said...

You know my views on this.
Won't bore you with them again.
As we say in Italy: "basta!" (trans.: "enough!")

LCM x

Steve said...

LCM: I just like hearing you say "Basta". Or rather typing it. You know what I mean.

Nota Bene said...

I think he deserved SOMETHING, but a custard pie wasn't it, and he deserved it for the right reason...and this had no good reason. When I went to the Iraq Inquiry earlier his year to see satan...I mean Tony Blair I really, really wanted to throw my shoe at him. And I could have done. But I was dissuaded by two things...friends & family (that's one) before hand and the parents of a dead soldier sitting next to me who wanted dignity at the proceedings. But I regret not doing it now.

Steve said...

Nota Bene: I agree. He deserves to be punished - I have no quibble with that at all. But proper measured justice needs to be done - not the mob shoving him in the stocks and hurling rocks and rotten fruit at him like some kind of bawdy sideshow. It's appetites for such lowborne pursuits that gave rise to this fetid brand of journalism in the first place.

the fly in the web said...

How did the chap get the pie past security?
No, I don't approve either, but neither do I approve that he'll get away scot free thanks to all the politicians too frightened to touch him in case of unwanted information about them becoming public.

Steve said...

The fly in the web: I don't think Murdoch's silence is worth much at the moment... truth will out as they say. There is so much close scrutiny now on this whole affair the casualties will soon mount up - possibly not all the deserving ones, but most. As for Rupert, I believe there's a care home in Bristol that has a few vacancies at the moment...

Martin Lower said...

You're right of course. Nobody should attack an eighty year old with a custard pie, or anything else. But as Owen pointed out, most people think this is the only punishment he will get. In the end, the politicians, police and the others involved in this sorry saga will look after each other. Someone (Andy Coulson, maybe), will be hung out to dry, while those further up the food chain will walk away!
Wolfie Smith, where are you now? Power to the people!!!!!

libby said...

I have mixed feelings on this one Steve...I think it was a stupid stunt and was done for self publicity by the 'flinger'.....Mr M will get sympathy for it and he doesn't need sympathy....as for being 80....well...living a life of first class travel, the best food and drink and not having to worry about healthcare and gas bills probably makes him closer to 50 in real terms don't you think??

Steve said...

Martin: I think Mr Murdoch will be held to account morally one way or the other and his reputation will be besmirched forever. Realistically the most that will happen is his shareholders wheeling him out to pasture - what else can they do? Imprison an 80 year old? Don't think so. Fine him? Will he even notice. His reputation, I suspect, means more to him than his vast fortune... and he's blown that.

Libby; ah money can buy many things but eternal youth and good health ain't two of them. He's 80 and looks 80. I suspect there might be a fast decline in the offing after this three ring circus has finally wound up its big top. Not that I'm saying it isn't what he deserves. It's just the punishment has to be commensurate with the crime. A custard pie is as you say a stunt... and belittles the whole issue rather than shames the wrong doers.

Bish Bosh Bash said...

Paramount we maintain the highest of civil standards and be seen to both practice and protect good manners and dignified behaviour, no matter what our impassioned feelings and pre conceptions may be, lest we risk sliding the slippery slope back to a witch finder society and lynch mob mentality all over again. And to be fair, that’s been pretty much the state of play by all involved on camera to date, that is until foaming spammer man went and queered the pitch.

My Oscar for best performance in a supporting role goes to his Chinese wife – Wendi Deng – for lunging like a cat, to the defence of her husband and audibly slapping the spammer in the face…pretty, jolly, hard. Out bluddy standing and fair play to you Maam.

My second Oscar for ‘Outstanding film producer’ goes to the programme controller behind the scenes who somehow resisted what surely must have been an overwhelming urge to “Switch to Camera 1 … NOW!!” and thus deny all the good citizens of planet earth a clear, head on view of Mr Murdoch’s face partly concealed behind all that foam or custard pie, or what ever it was & who cares anyway.

Unless I’ve already missed its secret release somewhere, that camera footage has just become more valuable than the chance of seeing an E.T. take a dump on the White House Lawn on Independence Day. Irony of all ironies then, that arguably one of the biggest photo scoops in the history of the worlds free press has gone unpublished and may well remain buried in our BBC’s vaults until we really are bankrupt one day soon, when it will thence be quickly sold off to pay our national debt.

And my ‘Well done chap’ award goes to the Met police bobby who raced into the spray, just a mere 30 seconds after it was pretty much all over, having been ‘999’nd away at the sprint from his beat outside Downing Street up the road. “Fast work officer plod. Very fast work indeed bloke!”

Owen said...

I'm not sure he will be concerned one whit about his reputation being besmirched, he's far too rich to care, and I would bet he doesn't think he did anything wrong. The editorial cartoon in his paper today about starving Somalis having had a bellyfull of the hacking scandal shows clearly to what depths he and his organisation are capable of sinking to. I suspect as soon as he's able to get away he'll be off for a few weeks on his mega-yacht and will be forgetting about all these annoying questions while in the arms of some twenty-something starlet. Sorry, but I feel no pity for the pie in the eye... just as I felt no pity when George Bush had a shoe thrown at him in Iraq... he had it coming.

Steve said...

Bish Bosh Bash: indeed his wife must surely be in kahoots with Jackie Chan or at least seen a number of his films. I wonder if Mr M owns the photo rights to his pie in the kisser debut? That would be great chutzpah if he does - even for an old megalomaniac tightwad as himself.

Owen: I think the call of posterity does weird things to ones ego. He won't be pleased to be going down in history as such an appalling old gutter dredger, I can tell you. But don't mistake me if you think I have any sympathy for the fellow as he faces the firing squad of public opinion. I don't. I just think the custard pie gag was cheap and unworthy of the importance of events that are currently unfolding. In a civilized society our brickbats should be justice, logic and righteousness - not flans, eggs and shoes.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Murdoch gives the human masses what they want: tits and gossip. Those who attack him are worms turning in the mud, and will feel the foot of a karate-kicking Chinawoman on their backsides.

Steve said...

Gorilla Bananas: that is almost poetry. Somewhere between a haiku and a tanka.

Wanderlust said...

I think I'd feel worse about it if they had a better camera angle. I couldn't really see the indignity very well, I had to imagine it. Somehow I did a much better job imagining the grief and trauma of the murdered girl's family, when they had false hope of her still being alive.

Steve said...

Wanderlust: I don't disagree. Which is why proceedings need to be carried forth with all seriousness and calm and measured justice so that the guilty can get what's coming to them in a court of the realm. A kangaroo court just isn't good enough - it cheats all the victims and their families.

Being Me said...

I have to agree with you on this one. This is more about the pie thrower than the recipient, imho. I do not believe it adds any respectful measure to the lives that have already been torn apart.

Steve said...

Being Me: thank you. Succinctly put and exactly what I was trying to say. ;-)

Mark said...

Rebekah Brooks in fishnets on a trapeze - really, you'd like to see that? And here's me thinking she had a rather large backside.

All getting very serious here today - just thought I'd lower the tone, in line with their editorial policies.

Steve said...

Mark: a big arse never stopped Billy Smart.

About Last Weekend said...

Knowing that old bugger he probably planned someone to do it to eek (sp?) out some drops of sympathy he should never have. Now his Tiger Wife - that is a hilarious story. Wow, don't touch her money man...

Steve said...

About Last Weekend: indeed - Crouching Wife, Hidden Tiger.

Wylye Girl said...

I must admit to having a moment of sympathy for the old bugger but really, this is the most powerful man in the media world? Looked like a bumbling old fool to me. And I wish people would stop saying that he was only giving us what we wanted. I didn't want his brand of trashy, slebrity obsessed reorting. Investigative journalism my arse, wouldn't even use it for toilet paper!

Steve said...

Wylye Girl: I haven't bought a newspaper for nearly 2 decades... he certainly wasn't appealing to my sensibilities either but sadly enough people bought them to make him a very rich man indeed. However, he is now something of an old coot and probably should have retired long ago. Wonder if his board of directors will force the issue now and offload the deadwood?

lunarossa said...

Don't like the Murdochs, but he is still an old man ...Don't like this whole scandal, but I think those who read those trashy newspapers are to blame too...As they say "Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone"...Ciao!

Steve said...

Lunarossa: very true. And the people who took delight in feeding off the scandals that made Murdoch rich are now feeding off this one too. Thank God I have a healthier diet.