Thursday, October 31, 2013

Give Daddy Some Sugar

Please Sir, Kindly Take Receipt Of This $9 Million Dollars
To be honest I probably haven't pimped myself as much as I should have but some of you will no doubt have seen that I have a new publication out on Kindle.

Please Sir, Kindly Take Receipt Of This $9 Million Dollars is the first in a (so far) 3 part series of my, ahem, selected writings that I am self publishing (and, quite possibly, self reading). For the startling cheap price of £1 you can lodge in your electronic bosom such literary gems as The Homeopaths Guide To Drinking, iClaudius, Better Than Marje Proops and, of course, the now legendary Sex With Nigella. Plus a whole glittering literati of other topics. This is quite simply the equivalent of a literary vajazzle.

You know you want one.

And you won't have to spend the next few days swilling sequins out of your toilet bowl.

For those of you who have already been kind / senile enough to purchase a copy please, please, please can I ask that you leave a review on Amazon. A product without any stars or endorsements just looks sad, orphaned and unwanted. And therefore undesirable. Please sex up my book with your kind hyperbole. Even if you have to lie in order to do it. I'm not proud.

For those of you considering a cheap humour book this year (or just considering a charitable donation) please give mine a go and, as above, please consider leaving a ringing endorsement to encourage others to do the same.

I must also here give thanks to the creative genius that is David Metcalfe-Carr for designing and producing the front cover.

The second book in the series, Anger Management Glasses, should be published some time in the New Year.

This has been a pubic disservice announcement.

You know, I think my spellchecker is broken...



14 comments:

Nota Bene said...

You will absolutely go blind if you self-publish and self-read. I may have to buy a Kindle, I feel the peer pressure growing...

Steve said...

Nota Bene: you don't have a Kindle? But that means you can't join in with the rest of us!

No pressure.

Very Bored in Catalunya said...

Just purchased! :-)

Steve said...

Very Bored in Catalunya: many, many thanks!

Gorilla Bananas said...

'Sex with Nigella' is the title that hooked me. The thought of you tickling her frigid boobs with your beard makes me sigh in contentment. Does it already have a fan club?

Steve said...

Gorilla Bananas: I can honestly say that you'd be its biggest member.

Trish Burgess said...

Have one-clicked!

Some of my fave posts in this collection. Will certainly do a review for you :-)

Steve said...

Trish: thanks, Trish - you're a star!

the fly in the web said...

I need the anger management book now...am fighting it out with Amazon for the privilege of buying your boo...but I will get there!

Steve said...

The fly in the web: just waiting on the cover design and then I'll get it published ASAP! Disheartened to hear that Amazon aren't playing ball... thank you for persevering.

Trish Burgess said...

Have left a review as promised. My pseudonym is Francesca B.

Steve said...

Trish: thank you kindly, friend Fran! ;-)

Being Me said...

Oooh Steve this is so good. I don't have an Amazon account.... once I get my head clear this week a bit, I'll be back. I want this!

Steve said...

Being Me: nothing like a converted sale to start the week - thank you!