Friday, May 11, 2007


One of the more "exciting" elements to my job is dealing with complaints from the general public – bless their little white cotton socks – and such complaints usually centre around the state of the toilets in the Art Gallery / Library complex where I work.

The fact that they are PUBLIC toilets and therefore their state is entirely down to the abuse and depravations of the PUBLIC themselves never seems to occur to the officious little tell-tale twits when they come and offload their tale of wee-wee woe upon me, of course.... no; suddenly the situation is entirely my fault and what am I going to do about it?

If the cleaner has knocked off for the day that question is usually answered by me donning a pair of industrial strength rubber gloves and grabbing a plunger the like of which was last scene surmounting a mediaeval lance tip... straight in and no messing, that’s my motto.

Yesterday saw me up to my elbows in Marigolds once more.

Apparently a report had come in of a great pile of beer cans clogging up the gent’s toilets and rendering them utterly unusable.

So off I trotted expecting the worst and what did I find?

A single can of Fosters – surprisingly empty – dropped nonchalantly into the toilet bowl. It wasn’t even wedged into the S bend but just floating like a tuberous blue lily upon the surface of the water.


Now that is either one hell of an eloquent lager review or some joker just decided to cut out the middle man.

Or someone was disturbed trying to get a refill...



SnoWhite my 21 year old works in IKEA and her bosses love her. When she is serving and somebody makes a rude, unacceptable, sarcy complaint then her head comes up and her eyes turn black like the black-eyed demons in Supernatural and she flays them with her tongue,politely of course.She is a force to be reckoned with, hell she scares me! She says she learnt it all from her mother!

Steve said...

Are you available to give lessons in this enviable skill? Maybe you could get a grant to set up a school? I'd certainly sign up as a fee paying customer...

-eve- said...

I like your choice of words. Eg. 'wee-wee woes'. Beautiful alliteration ;-)

Steve said...

I always set out to please perfectly, promptly and precisely. ;-)