Thursday, May 31, 2007

Treble Trouble

Big Brother Amanda and Sam pictureThis time every year Karen and I risk running into a truly rare thing in our house: a row over the television.

Karen wants to immediately plug herself straight into the Big Brother psycho-idiot Wii device while I come over all sneery eyed and superior and point out how shallow, superficial, trashy and chav-like the whole premise of the show is and demand to watch something more intellectual on the other side – in this case The Apprentice (the other side being another TV channel and not celestial telly from beyond the grave).

Ok so I was straining a bit on the “intellectual” front last night but you get the picture.

And this time every year the problem is resolved in exactly the same way as it always has been:

I give in. We watch Big Brother. And I end far more addicted and wound up about the show than Karen ever could be. To the point where my many opinions about the show start infiltrating my blog...

Oh poo.

Oh who am I kidding? I love it really.

And so on with my first impressions...

My God it’s going to be a cat house this year. At the moment my ears are appalled at the sheer amount of shrieking and screaming that all those teetering, screeching, lip-glossed dolly birds are producing. Especially the twins, Amanda and Sam. “Oh you’re gorgeous!” “NO! You’re gorgeous!” Ooh! Ooh! Eek! Eek! There’s too much treble! My ears can’t take it.

Christ. They sound like the mice from Bagpuss. Put a sock in it please. Or preferably a soggy old cloth cat. Just make it a big one.

My faves at the moment are Tracey “avin it large, yeah come an get sum, I’m well phat” Beaker (or whatever her real surname is) – mainly because she reminds me of a female cross between Prodigy front man, Keith Flint and the Tyres character from Spaced – and glum man-hating Nicky. I think The Nickster will be something of a dark horse.

Most frightening woman in the house is undoubtedly Carole who resembles the Viz character Millie Tant so closely I was also waiting for Mrs Brady Old Lady to appear... I can already foresee a host of BO based explosions rocking the foundations of not only the house itself but also all that caked on twenty-something make-up.

God I’m a bitch.

Channel Four need to get me in the house!

4 comments:

MOTHER OF MANY said...

I also found it difficult to cope with the squealing,I find it difficult dealing with the noise in my own house without watching it on TV.I made my 17 year old promise she would never think about going on the show, I would have to hurt her if she did.We all liked Laura and Tracey but couldn't raise much enthusiasm for anyone else.I looks like it is going to be a bit boring this year but then I thought Celeb BB 07 started out boring and look what happened there!

Suze said...

We have the same disputes in our household and Alex ends up watching as much as me.

However, I do think that Tracey looks very much like someone else and we posted about it last night.

Enjoy your viewing, you just know you want to. lol

TimeWarden said...

I didn't watch either! Lol!! While the rest of the family watched "The Apprentice", I watched "Species" for the umpteenth time, on the computer, on BBC Three!!!

Old Cheeser said...

I haven't seen "BB" yet! I'm sure I will end up getting sucked into the vortex soon though. The concept of a female-only house is interesting, I think they should hold out a little longer on sending in any fellas though! And when they do send in some men I think they should all be gay or celibate. That would drive the ladeeees wild with rage.