Friday, January 25, 2008

Grot Wars

With all the recent stresses and strains it was inevitable that one the many microbes that inhabit our atmosphere – a nasty flu-like one in this case – should seize on our apparent weakened state and launch a full frontal assault.

Karen and Tom are currently under siege. Boiling oil is streaming from their noses in a vain attempt to stave off the attackers.

I myself am having to engage in flashy sword-play along my air passages just to try and keep my defences un-penetrated. If they wheel out a siege engine, I tell you, I’m done for.

I’ve left Karen and Tom in bed sneezing their bogeys and ballistas over the perimeter of the bedclothes. It’s a dirty war but someone’s got to do it.

I’m at work putting together a master plan that involves vitamin C, Iron tablets and Echinacea tea. My boss has agreed to release me from my duties early at 3pm sp that I can pick up our boy, Ben (currently neutral in this conflict), from school and then head home and rejoin the fray. My boss is sympathetic but unwilling to commit any of his own men to the battle. Reinforcements will not be coming.

If the worst comes... I have a whisky warhead hidden in a secret silo.

The countdown has already begun...

12 comments:

Rol Hirst said...

A valiant effort... but you know there's no escape!

Reluctant Blogger said...

haha I can't tell you how glad I am you all got this one not the norovirus one. I can't imagine how unappealing your battle scenes might have been then!

Hope you all recover quickly. And yeah whisky is def the best cure - even for children I find!!!

Steve said...

Rol, you may be right... I've already noticed a white flag appearing below my very nose...

Hi Gina, I must admit the norovirus scare has been a constant thought in our minds each time we've visited the MIL but thankfully the hospital is norovirus clear... otherwise I'd have been talking about trench warfare...

Not sure about sharing the whisky though. The very idea of it! ;-)

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Great excuse not to visit the MIL & have to read her demands though -perhaps your immune systems are working after all, to keep you away from unreasonableness!

And she wouldn't thank you for any viruses in her state of health.

MOTHER OF MANY said...

When all else fails......a whiskey!Sounds good to me.
I hope you will all be well soon.

Matthew Rudd said...

Forget whisky toddy - try Bacardi toddy instead. Bacardi, honey and hot water - doesn't get rid of your cold, but you soon forget you have one...

Steve said...

Thanks Ally - hope you're all still enjoying your hols!

Matthew... hmm. That's not a bad idea... may have to give that a go. Have you ever thought about going into medicine?

Daisy said...

okay this is going to sound really wrong...but...i think this would be a good weekend to go as a family and visit your MIL...isn't she the one who has worn you down...shouldn't she share in your newest developments...wouldn't want her to feel left out...

okay it was REALLY wrong...but i meant it :)

Steve said...

Thanks Daisy - I'm a-smilin' through the sniffles...! ;-)

-eve- said...

Here's hoping you all get better soon!

Steve said...

Thanks Eve - feeling much better today though Tom's got a bit of a cough... :-)

The Sagittarian said...

Hi Steve, ugh...sniffles...all that extra mucus, mozerella by another name...would you want pizza with that?
Hope you're all tip top again soon...oh, and I think Daisy is onto something really....