Friday, November 13, 2009

Unlucky For Some

It’s the 21st Century. We throw ourselves around the world in great iron birds. We can communicate with someone on the other side of the globe in an instant by bouncing our voices off the myriad satellites that orbit our planet. We’re beginning to unravel the secrets of DNA. Our understanding of the quantum world is beginning to hasten in a new era of human enlightenment.

And yet we’re totally unable to rid ourselves of the most stupid of suspicions.

All week I have watched people grimace and convulse with the kind of facial tics that, a century ago, would have seen them thrown into a Victorian freak show at the merest mention of Friday 13th.

What? You are going to the dentist on Friday 13th? Are you mad? You’ll end up with a root canal and your tongue harpooned on the dentist drill? Or, worse still, stunned with Novocain while Dr Drillgood manhandles your boobs / moobs and etches his name across your pantie-line in teeth whitener!

You’re never flying on the 13th? Internal flight, be damned! You’ll be blown out of the sky by a shoe bomb or worse still find yourself bumped onto a Ryan Air flight with only Gary Glitter for company!

Are you crazy? You’re planning to tightrope walk across the top of the Clifton Suspension Bridge on Friday 13th wearing nothing but a pink peephole bra and bright red galoshes... etc, etc.

You get the picture.

What’s the big deal? It’s just another Goddamned day and just another Goddamned number. It doesn’t mean a damned thing. Why do people get so knicker-twisted over it? It’s like people enjoy the prospect of disaster or bad luck. Behind all the grimacing and gurning that Friday 13th provokes is a definite sunburst of joy that somebody just might fall off a ladder in front of you and spectacularly impale their gonads on a rollerdex... anything to break the tedium of another boring week at the office.

And I suspect that’s what’s behind it. A little something to break the monotony. The possibility that the bone grinding tedium of life might be temporarily broken up by the pig’s bladder of misadventure. As long as it happens to somebody else of course. Audience participation on the 13th is not to be welcomed.

But the 13th has never been unlucky for me. Never. I’ve never had a bad experience with the number 13. Not once. Not ever. I’m immune to it. Totally. And I put this immunity down to the fact that I was actually born on the 13th (of August).

I mean, how can the 13th ever be unlucky for me if it saw my pewling but beautiful form finally arrive in the world, glistening and wriggling and full of all this splendid potential?

Unlucky for the rest of you maybe...

;-)


27 comments:

The Crow said...

Happy Friday 13th! May this be one of the best Fridays you've ever encountered.

:)

Steve said...

The Crow: thank you - wishing you a great Friday 13th too!

Mark said...

Your post has only just alerted me to the date.

I agree; it's bloody stupid, nothing ever happens on Friday the thir.... aghhh ughhh clonk.

Steve said...

Mark: I've alerted an ambulance to your predicament but they're going to be half an hour late as they've had an accident en route...

Joe Bloggs said...

Jolly good show... post, Steve

Names and numbers and noomerallergy is fascinating just like a moofee can be; but off course sum+folks go oof their rocker about one fing or the udder.

Odd say the tearawrists have a penchant for numpers when you goggle the daze curtain events havappend uponder - probably coz the dickheads in charge are into allzortz of weirdnest-pas?

Will you be adding to the collective unkonkernessies thantostic thirst for endaze by ooglink the 2oh12 blogbusta?

I 4 1 plan on halfing a peekatit, not that Hum a beleefer you understand - justa noseyparka.

Gina said...

It is my daughter's 21st birthday today. It struck me as odd that she should be getting lucky horseshoes and the like on Friday 13th. The year she was born the date fell on Remembrance Sunday.

I have never taken any notice of the superstitions surrounding Friday 13th. All Fridays are good days in my book!

Have a lovely weekend, Steve.

Steve said...

Joe Bloggs: I won't be adding, no, as I didn't even know that anything was going on - see, I'm so innocent, I'm not even aware of any conspiracies let alone get invited to join any!

Gina: 21? I don't believe it! You don't sound a day over 35! ;-) Hope you have a great weekend too!

French Fancy said...

I totally agree with you - all this superstitious nonsense is just that - nonsense. I was once asked to leave someone's office because I'd put a pair of new shoes on their desk to show them off - you'd think I'd committed the ultimate sin.

Steve said...

FF: funnily enough that's a big no-no in my house too - Karen often tells me off for doing it. As it is my "superstitions are rubbish" stance has taken a bit of a battering this evening... will go into more detail in my next post!

Clippy Mat said...

i don't buy into that superstitious bull either.
tosh.
there i've said it.
now i'm off to walk under a ladder and kick a black cat.
;-)

Steve said...

Clippy Matt: I ended up having a crappy evening after writing this post (which I'll write about later) so my strong stance has been shaken somewhat...!

KAZ said...

Are flights cheaper on Friday 13th?
I must investigate ... er .............. but maybe not.

Steve said...

Kaz: they might be... but I bet insurance is more expensive...

Joe Bloggs said...

Hi Steve,

Please check out yesterdaze alternative news here Mysterious Sun Gate ‘Time Wave’ Blacks Out South America and be so kind as to drop us a line if you think it's a nicely pieced together theoryfærytale. Hope you make it past all the usual "lose belly fat" blab - or is that flab?
Just plane stuff and nonsense probably; but a proper cuppa sweet treat right up my street; 13 Bedlam Rd. Ward 666.
'soakay Uhm allowed the odd or even visitor every now and never.

Your gonna give it a chance? Flabulous! There's nothing like a good read, eh?

The Sagittarian said...

Well, we survived the 13th in these here parts..hope your antagonistic approach to them what make things happen didn't prove too disasterous?

Steve said...

Joe Bloggs: you find the strangest things on-line...! I suspect it is utter bunkum. Especially as the LHC hasn't exactly been working properly for months...! Still, if it makes the Russians smile... what the hell. ;-)

Amanda: I will explain all in my next post... all I will say now is, perhaps it's not such a good idea to mock the old gods after all.

Selina Kingston said...

Here, here you're absolutely right. It's all bunkum and only idiots believe such pure tosh.

Oh shit! Just seen a magpie in the garden. Have to go - I won't settle until I see a second one ....!!

Steve said...

Selina: unfortunately there's a consequence to my mocking attitude which I'll write about tomorrow...!

Joe Bloggs said...

//Double dash! Tinfoiled again.

I was hoping to ensnare you in the never-ending mazes of conspinsanity. Misery luvs company etc.

My latest lame blogroll of a post is about the size of my IQ - I'd like to hear how big yours is, cos I'm a nosey-parka, as well as a conspiracy anorak.

I hope the jokiness is coming through, I'm aware my persona may seem (in)completely nut(s) :)

Steve said...

Joe Bloggs: on my way...

Gypsy said...

Was last Friday the 13th? Well that explains a LOT. Just kidding! I'm dying to read about what calamity befell you....see your theory about it breaking up the tedium if it's someone elses misadventure must be correct. Serously I hope it wasn't anything too terrible.

Steve said...

Gypsy: nothing fatal but something I could have done without... but the universe also made an attempt to balance the books this morning. Intrigued?!

Janete Cabral said...

At the end of the day just old superstition...I supposed bad things happen at all times, we are probably more acutely aware given the date...

My mom's birthday, it was a lovely day!

Janete

Steve said...

Janete: which bolsters my theory that those born on the 13th are immune to any ill effects...! Glad she had a great day!

Owen said...

Well, I had downright piss poor luck on Friday... failing again to win the lottery... isn't it obviously due to it being the 13th ?!? Next week is going to be the one, I can feel it. In the meanwhile, my street address is number 13, and this is the best house we've lived in here in France, so I can't complain about 13... however, I did have a run in with a black cat a while back that left me scratching my head... nawwww, it was just coincidence.
:-)

PS Glad you enjoyed the sh*t can, maybe you could distribute some to the folks that have been leaving their calling card outside your place of work at night ?

A Write Blog said...

I think some of it is down to that fcat that people like to lay blame for misfortune on chnace and not on anything that the have done.

Frifay 13th is a nice cop out day.

'Oh, dear, I crashed into that wall because it was the 13th Nothing to do with the fact that I am a crap driver' LOL.

Steve said...

AWB: my next post may well put that theory to the test...!