Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Go And Flush Your Head Down The Loo, Yahoo!

So I’m checking my Yahoo email account and there it is staring me in the face. Right next to the “What are you doing right now?” text box is a flag. The English flag.

Yahoo, using its clever technological know-how, has taken it upon itself to assign me a team to support in the World Cup.

Now, some of you – if you’d read between the lines of my previous post – will have picked up on the fact that essentially I am a non-participant in the great national sport of watching the World Cup. Over the next few weeks it is my sole ambition to not watch a single match of the WC (oh how I love acronyms). I am supporting nobody. I don’t give a fig who wins and, more to the point, I couldn’t give a rat’s arse who loses.

Sod the lot of them (great overpaid, over pampered, over merchandized jessies, etc, etc).

So I am incandescent with transient irritation to have found myself forcibly allocated an England flag in my own sodding email box!

Oi, Yahoo – NO! Ask my permission please!

But it gets worse. You click an arrow next to the flag and you get a large drop-down pane that features all the flags of the teams currently running themselves ragged in the WC. I could choose Cameroon if I wanted. Or Uruguay. Or even Germany.

What I don’t have though is the option to opt out. For a flag that states “none of the above”. For a flag that says “I don’t have to play and I won’t play”.

Everybody – and I mean everybody – who has a Yahoo email account will either have to live with their default flag setting or give-in and deliberately choose a team; to throw their twopenneth-worth [virtually] into the WC.

Am I the only person who is offended by this massive assumption that everybody is happy to participate? That we are all willing to be WC fodder?

All I want is to keep my head out of the WC but the more I try to do that the more it is forced down there, my nose pressed right up close to the ball action.

And I don’t want it, people!

I want a WC free existence! I don’t want to be confronted with the WC every time I turn my head or open my mouth.

It stinks!

Yahoo, this is your mess; either mop it up or piss off.


38 comments:

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

I shouldn't laugh really...

Nota Bene said...

erm, erm, erm...I'm so glad I don't have Yahoo, and wasn't in the same room as you when you saw the flag! Do you think it might go away when your team is knocked out.....

Steve said...

Trish: it's no laughing matter - Governments have been brought down for less!

Nota Bene: I'm rather hoping it'll turn into a black flag with a skull and crossbones on it...!

-eve- said...

Wow, interesting!
I have learnt to be oblivious to distractions - did not even see the flag; after reading your post, I went back and had a good look at it. LOL :-) Call it advertising and ignore it ;-)

Mummy's Little Monkey said...

Thank GOD! Someone else in this country who doesn't give a flying **** at a rolling doughnut who wins the 'WC'. I thought I was the only, lonely one...

French Fancy said...

I'm getting really pissed off with these mega-institutions like Google and Yahoo doing stuff like this. Mr FF recently put something or other on here - ad blocker I think it was - that has made me marginally happier with them. I've not been offered a footie flag yet though - I'm in your I HATE FOOTBALL camp.

Clippy Mat said...

The Great God Yahoo demands you fly the flag.
There shall be no escape!
;-)

Alienne said...

It really annoyed me too, and I do like the WC. But then, all those flashing adverts really annoy me to. Considering I am paying for the privilege of BT e-mail I don't see why I should not have a right to opt out of them.

I never got as far as clicking to see what happened! I might change mine to North Korea.

Kelloggsville said...

small fish (world cup hater), big pond (football resides in at least 80% of brain hence why I appear to be the dumb ass public)

I would like to swim in the small pond with you please.

Steve said...

Eve: I wish I could be less distracted!

Mummy's Little Donkey: no, we're fast becoming an army. The world is ours. They can keep the cup.

FF: I'm glad it's not just me who feels it is a hugely cheeky liberty!

Clippy Mat: I'm gonna call on the Great God Jehovah to smite Yahoo. You may experience a temporary loss in service.

Alienne: I think if there was an option to opt out I'd be less annoyed. It's the lack of say in it that irritates me the most. And the fact they assumed because I was a UK resident I'd be supporting England - what if I was Welsh or Scottish?

Kellogsville: come on in - the water's lovely!

the fly in the web said...

That stupid comment...what are you doing right now...What makes Yahoo think it's any of their damn business and would I be prosecuted if I gave an accurate answer?

Val said...

I don't have this on my Yahoo email, possibly because I absolutely hate their 'new' version and am sticking to Yahoo Classic. Maybe switch back to that til all the crap is over?

I'm with you on this, I hate hate hate it! It bores me witless.

Steve said...

The Fly In The Web: for my answer I plumped for "Checking my emails funnily enough..." What did Yahoo think I would be doing when I logged into my email account?!

Steve said...

Val: thank you - you are my saviour! Classic it is!

Owen said...

I too shall be hiding in a jungle of my own making until the stink blows over from that enormous WC hullaballoo...

We have oil gushing in the Gulf of Mexico, war ready to break out in Korea, wars already broken out in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Middle East is the usual hellhole for many, half the planet is starving, and yet once again billions of euros or dollars or pounds or rands or whatever will be poured down the cesspool of boorish bull excrement known as professional sports, as though it were the most important subject possible on the planet for the entire human race...

I'm with you Steve, I want a pirate flag to fly, this crap has become indecent, and it is frightening how the madding hordes flock to the spectacle... like lemmings ? Milling about like maggots on a bloated corpse ?

Someone told them what to think I fear, they did not dream this monstrosity up all by themselves... is there a commandment in some religion somewhere which says : Thou shall be a sports fan ???? Glad I escaped that particular brainwashing session...

Steve said...

Owen: corporate football is the worst of all religions - one that worships money in all its forms and all its currencies but sells itself on the back of "a beautiful sport". At the end of the day it's just a game. Just a ball being kicked around. Professionalizing it has turned it into a bloated beast that is never satisfied, no matter how many resources are poured into it. It were better, my lad, in t'olden days when men were men and played their matches on a Saturday and then had proper jobs in t'week.

lunarossa said...

Cannot see the flag...do you think the yahoo people know that I'm not English? Now that would be really spooky! Ciao. A.

Steve said...

Lunarossa: apparently the flag does not appear if you have your email account set to "classic"... either that or Yahoo is showing you far more respect and consideration than it's showing me...!

EmmaK said...

Thanks for the tip - yes I have an american flag popping up in my yahoo I guess yahoo knows where I live. I am not bothered by the flag dunno why. Why not be an old git all the way and write a letter to yahoo: "I was shocked and horrified that the email account that has served me so well now chooses to foist its spam on me in the form of assuming that just because I am a British National I should give a flying fuck about the World Cup. I am writing to my local MP about this too etc etc" ;)

Rol said...

In years to come, it will be the law. Support the WC or die.

The other day we were told to participate in a photoshoot at work. Everybody line your cars up and you'll all be given world cup flags to stick on them, then we're taking a group shot.

I went out on a very important call. To Tesco.

Steve said...

Emma: I am going to quote you. Literally. ;-)

Rol: so it's true. Every little does help.

Gina said...

I wear blinkers really and never notice any peripherals (it's the only way to live in my house with all the mess and filth) so I hadn't noticed the flags at all.

Another flag-rant attempt not to mention the world cup I see Steve.

Steve said...

Gina: I was hoping nobody would notice.

Steve said...

Profound apologies to Mother's Little Monkey who - God knows what was going through my mind (not an intelligent though I warrant) - I mistakenly addressed as Mother's Little Donkey.

Faux pas? Who moi? Oui.

Oops.

Mummy's Little Monkey said...

Yes. I noticed. Neither me, nor my little Donkey, were amused. Well, maybe a little bit...

Steve said...

MLM: (see playing it safe now) you can always rely on me to make an ass out of myself. Or someone at least. ;-)

hampshireflyer said...

I wonder who it picks for users whose IP address doesn't come from a country that's competing? Odd.

Steve said...

Hampshireflier: bloody good question. Maybe they get a flag with the word "loser" or "non-qualifier" emblazoned across it? ;-)

Joe Bloggs said...

Yeah, all this flagrant flagitation leaves me flaggy... so, yes - let's demand a N/A flag; great idea, Steve

Steve said...

Joe: ...otherwise I shall demand that the powers that be at Yahoo are flagellated to within an inch of their flagging honours...

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Yeah, show them the red flag Steve.

Then transfer to hotmail. It's far better.

English Rider said...

Not only am I disinclined to show any interest in Football (The game for Gentlemen, played by Hooligans) but it seems that the few glimpses and updates that have been unavoidable have shown that no-one is playing very well. It is more exciting to follow which of the local employee unions will pull a strike next. "No one told them they would have to work longer hours during World Cup?" Can they spell self-explanatory?

TheUndertaker said...

Haha Steve, build a bridge hun, and get over it! : ) This WC even has New Zealand in it for the first time in 28 years. Wahoo! Loving it so far.
Try gmail, perhaps?

Heather said...

cheeky blighters. Can you not just scroll through till you find one that is pleasing to the eye and call it decoration?

Not really the point, I know.

TimeWarden said...

I'm just hoping the football, or any of the other sport, doesn't cause a late start for "Doctor Who"... because I have the timer set! I do have PDC but don't use it as it's not 100% reliable.

The punctual start time of every episode has been under threat either from Formula One, Horse Racing or men in shorts playing with their leather balls! And the tennis starts next week!!

Steve said...

Laura: already got one of those. So it possibly serves me right for being an email-hog!

English Rider: yep, the world cup really does seem to be a showcase for mediocrity this year. England should do well in that case.

The Undertaker: I'd rather build a bridge away from the WC! Or even tunnel underneath it like I'm escaping from a prison camp.

Heather: nice try but their colour schemes are so last year.

TimeWarden: given how much money and hyperbole the BBC ploughs into DW I'm always amazed at how lax they are with the start times - it annoys me greatly that it is on at a different time every week! It's essential viewing one minute and then expendable the next.

A Write Blog said...

So that's what it is!

I did wonder. I just ignored it.

Ignorance, Steve, is sometimes bliss.......really.

Steve said...

AWB: very true!