Monday, July 09, 2007

The New Romantics

Octavia and Atia, choice Roman wenches...Cracking episode of Rome last night. Lots of gore, bed-based naughtiness and bags of peaches.

A perfect Sunday night-in, in fact.

The whole episode was great fun.

In one fabulous scene weaselly politician Cicero felt the sharp point of a blade expertly wielded by Titus Pullo. Straight in through the shoulder blade, all the way down to the heart. Cue much fountaining of blood. However, I doubt anybody was ever bumped off in such a polite and deferential fashion. “Do you mind if I take some of these peaches? Be nice for the wife...” What could Cicero do but be magnanimous. It’s not like he’d be having much of an appetite later.

There was more gore towards the end. Poor Brutus got turned into a human colander after the allied forces of Mark Anthony and Octavian Caesar wiped the Greek desert with him during the battle of Philippi. I had to feel sorry for Brutus. He was like a public school boy who just couldn’t quite live up to his mother’s or indeed anybody’s expectations. Bloody awful name too. What was his mother thinking? Like Butch or He-Man, it doesn’t leave much room for poetry or origami. Susan would have been far more fitting.

The best bit of last night’s episode for me though was Agrippa finally getting to grips with Octavia, Octavian Caesar’s tasty little sister. Although I think it was more a case of she got to grips with him.

I had to smile at Agrippa’s sense of style. What do you do if you want to impressively woo and romance a daughter of one of the most powerful houses in Rome?

Answer: you rent a room in a gaudy whorehouse and shag her senseless for three hours solid before donning leather armour and going off to battle. I guess in those days the use of such places for this kind of “romantic” activity was the norm. Kind of the equivalent to a cheap hotel off the M5. A convenient passion pad inside which one may plough the odd wild oat in whatever passing furrow pleases you... and Agrippa seemed intent on planting a whole vineyard.

The choice of location was not a great compliment to Octavia though. But then again she’s not averse to a bit of rough. Having got blatted on dope and attending an orgy last week (though Agrippa hoiked her away before things got properly started) she’s hardly a shrinking violet.

She’s more like a Venus Fly-trap.

No wonder Agrippa had such a big smile on his face.

Anybody care for a grape?

4 comments:

TimeWarden said...

I recognise the actress on the right of your picture, of course, but who is playing Polly Walker's daughter?

Not having seen "Rome", I was also wondering who David Bamber is playing and whether or not he's good in it? I have fond memories of him, in "Pride and Prejudice", shielding his eyes, possibly out of politeness though more likely to save his rather than her embarrassment, from Julia Sawalha who appears on the landing in a state of half-undress!

Steve said...

The actress playing Polly's (Atia's) daughter is Kerry Condon. I must admit this is the first production I'ver ever seen her in but I've been very impressed with her performance.

David Bamber was excellent. I say was because he played the conniving Cicero and got bumped off on Sunday night!

I'd recommend Rome to anyone though it might be a bit difficult to pitch in now half way through the second series. Definitely worth catching the repeats though!

daveches said...

looks like i missed a TV treat.

I need 80s new romantic stories: www.daveches.co.uk/80s

Steve said...

Hi Daveches - you did indeed miss a treat! Get yourself a copy on DVD fast! ;-)