Friday, July 20, 2007

Ug

cage fightingI saw an amazing news item on the TV yesterday evening.

It seems that the new up-and-coming sport of choice for those with more money than brain cells is Cage Fighting.

Basically two muscle pimped meatheads are locked into a caged circular arena where, using whatever martial arts techniques they have at their disposal – boxing, kick boxing, karate, judo, finger-painting – they attempt to knock seven shades of custard out of each other. The last man standing (not necessarily with both legs attached) is proclaimed the winner.

It’s brutal. It’s blood thirsty. It’s barbaric.

And tickets for a recent bout of this event at Wembley went for £500 a go.

From what I can see it’s basically no-rules-barred fist fighting. One tiny step away from a fully fledged gladiatorial contest.

The audience were grotesque. Rich men in Saville Row suits and women in catwalk originals baying for blood and a good maiming. If these are the “in people” I’m happy to be counted out.

A spokesman for the sport attempted to justify it by painting it in a much nobler light.

It’s not just about the violence, he said. It’s about the various disciplines involved and the positive mental attitude.

Oh well. That makes it all alright then.

As soon as I have tracked this man down I’m going to break into his house, terrorize his family and steal all of his possessions.

I know it sounds like a callous and violent criminal act but please respect the immense discipline involved in carrying out this endeavour and the tremendous positive mental attitude I’m having to adopt in order to get myself through it.

Last of the noble savages, me.

I’ll be selling tickets to this event on eBay. £500 a shot if anybody’s interested?

13 comments:

-eve- said...

Hmm, I think I'd enjoy the show! Sounds like WWE anyway (and probably it'd turn into one; we haven't seen what happens backstage). Wouldn't need to watch it live, though. TV is enough (plus, my attention span wouldn't last that long!). Looks like the days of Rome are coming back...:-)

Steve said...

Indeed - I've bought myself some gold sandals and a big purple and white toga in readiness. All I need now is someone to proclaim me emperor. Or rather to stand around and do nothing while I proclaim myself as emperor!

-eve- said...

LOL! That's got me smiling again...:-)

TimeWarden said...

I wouldn't watch it. There are too many freak shows on telly already. It isn't only the fighters who'll end up with cabbage for brains but also the viewers of such reprehensible tat!

I'd offer to drive the getaway car for you, Steve, if I had a motor me old son!!

Steve said...

Offer much appreciated, Tim! I'll settle for a skateboard or even a bicycle! Any form of wheeled conveyance would do. I might draw the line at those horrible trainers with wheels in the heels though...

MOTHER OF MANY said...

Not nice!
I occasionally watch amateur wrestling and that is funny but this is just nasty.

Steve said...

It's a good distinction to make too. God knows I get irritated by the pantomime of wrestling but cage fighting is, as you say, just down-right nasty. There's nothing noble about it at all to my mind and reminds me of a certain episode of Torchwood...!

Anonymous said...

You people have no idea what your talking about so please stop putting down these people just because there fighters! its not barbaric and is safer then any other contact sports due to the rules! Also, its two fighters in a boxing styled ring, a hexagon, or an octagon! Not a cicle! So next time you want to act like your so much better then everyone else you should due your research you pompous pencil pusher!

Steve said...

Anonymous you're a thick thug-loving nob. (1) The news item specifically described a ring / circle. (2) It IS barbaric; I don't give a toss what "rules" there are to make it "safe", at the end of the day you are getting your rocks off watching two human being knock 7 kinds of crap out of each other. Which makes you a sick fuck. Don't bother posting anymore comments Mr "Anonymous" (you fucking coward) because they won't get published. Asshole.

Anonymous said...

Wow! So your one of those! If you’ve ever walked away from your computer you would realize a "ring" in sporting terms is a SQUARE! Like a boxing RING! I know this must be hard to understand but there’s violence in all sports! So are all sports "barbaric" as you so love to put!? I also like how you need to act like a ten year old and begin swearing and calling me a coward for making a point! Sadly enough it seems you’re becoming "barbaric"! And speaking of cowardly acts I like how you are trying to stop me from commenting back! MMA is a very "technical" in which people spend years traveling to different places learning both new and old forms of combat and in some cases it helps these people! I own an MMA training facility in North East Ohio and I’ve seen some amazing things happen to these kids that come off the street and I help them get a second chance in life! So don’t you dare put these kids down for trying to get there lives back in order!

Steve said...

Yawn! So you are one of "those" too... but unlike you, you dolt, I get emailed everytime someone leaves a comment because I use Comment Moderation on this blog in an attempt to prevent anonymous idiots like you leaving abusive comments.

Let's tackle your points one by one shall we. The news report that inspired this particular blog (on the BBC) specified that these particular caged fights were being held in a "circular caged ring". Got that? I'm well aware that a normal boxing / wrestling ring is indeed square.

You are a coward for making anonymous posts. End of. Don't bother making anymore because they will not be published. And actually, to clear up another point, I don't have to publish them. This is MY blog where I am allowed to say what I like. If you want to celebrate the travesty that you think is a "sport" then kindly do so on your own blog.

I don't care how many years of training these guys have... I dare say the pilots who flew the planes on 911 were also well trained. Does this justify their actions or somehow ennoble them? I think not.

Any kind of sport where people or indeed animals are encouraged to physically hurt each other IS barbaric. I question our need for such things in a so called modern, civilized world.

The fact you are trying to help these kids is admirable. That I cannot deny though I question the methods. Is violence the only outlet for them. Being paid to hurt and be hurt? What a sad waste of a life. Wouldn't getting them an education be a much more effective way of helping them out of their circumstances. Is violent sport the only option open to them? Or is that merely what people like you tell them, I wonder? Would you make any money out of them if you, for example, encouraged them to go to college instead?

That you seek to justify a sport which is reprensible to the vast majority of people by crying crocodile tears for the poor and the suppressed is distasteful in the extreme. You disgust me.

Now, if you don't mind I have much better things to do than publish your ill-educated and ill thought out repostes on my blog. Goodbye.

Anonymous said...

hi, new to the site, thanks.

Steve said...

Anonymous: my pleasure.