Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Blofeld Is My Next Door Neighbour

Aston MartinIt’s not often that my hometown makes the national news (winning Britain In Bloom for the umpteenth time running is never front page material) but when it does it does so with style.

You’ll all no doubt have heard the news of James Bond’s fabled Aston Martin taking an unnecessary nosedive into some picturesque Italian lake on route to the film set of “A Quantum Of Solace”...

Well, it’s with a quantum of pride that I reveal that the driver hailed from good old Leamington Spa... the small Midland’s spa town that brought forth such luminaries into the world as Aleister Crowley, Terry Frost and yours truly.

And now we can add Fraser Dunn to that list, the hapless driver who lost control on a steep mountainous Italian bend in wet weather and took out Bond’s trademark wheels big time.

Fraser escaped unharmed (naturally) and merely brushed off his tux as the car was craned out of the drink by Italian contractors. Reports that the lake was filled with remote-controlled sharks with lasers attached to their foreheads are so far unfounded.

Mr Bond himself was unavailable for comment being up to his hips in posh, busty totty but Blofeld was heard to scream a tirade of curses before pounding his pussy to death in angered frustration.

Er...

Or have I got that the wrong way round?

22 comments:

-eve- said...

Ahh... had to google Blofeld... now I know what this is all about :-)

Steve said...

Sorry Eve, didn't realize I was being cryptic. I guess Dr No would have been a more obvious choice!

Flaming Nora said...

Yes but was James Bond wearing those blue swimming trunks at the time? Come on, give the people the information they really want!

Steve said...

Ha ha! I can't comment on Daniel Criag but I'm pretty sure that Fraser Dunn wasn't wearing bermudas at the time of the crash... though he might take to wearing them regularly on any future driving excursions to Italy. If anybody ever lets him drive a car again of course. Poor chap will never live this down.

Inchy said...

That is the worst claim to fame ever in the history of bad claims to fame, Steve.

Steve said...

Inchy, I've obviously never told you the story about how I once met Mel Giedroyc as Weston-super-Mare train station...

Inchy said...

I now wish to sever all ties with you and your blog.

Steve said...

Erm... ok, how about the story of how I sat in a train carriage from Glasgow to Leamington opposite Peter Vaughan and said not a word...

David said...

Great antidote. I so enjoy your blog

EmmaK said...

I just looked up famous people from Leamington Spa and apart from you there was no one I'd ever heard of, - still you should be proud of your Ultimate Frisbee Team, the Leamington Lemmings. You're probably the most famous person from Leamington! Wear the title with pride!

Steve said...

Thank you David, that's very kind - I've never been described as an antidote before but it's rather nice!

Emma, the Leamington Lemmings obviously take precedent over little old me but I'm amazed more people haven't heard of Aleister Crowley - the so called "Wickedest Man In The World" and "The Beast 666". He even featured on the cover of the Beatles Sgt Pepper album. However, I'm more than happy to assume the mantle of most famous Leamingtonian though I suspect dear old Fraser Dunn might have a thing to say about it!

Rol said...

You're from the same place as Aleister Crowley...?

Isn't that a little suburb of Hell?

Steve said...

Yes but we have very nice amenities. And we've won Britain In Bloom countless times.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Britain in Bloom and James Bond in the same posting?

Steve, I salute you!

Leamington's flower displays are indeed fine. Pity it lets so many of its noble buildings decay though and refuses to re-open its spa properly as a tourist attraction. Oliver's Poetry Garret has a good posting on his loves and hates of Leamington, with which I largely agree.

TimeWarden said...

I hear Halle Berry's a regular visitor to Leamington! She likes to take in the waters... You wouldn't have anything to do with that, Steve, would you?!! ;-)

Steve said...

I have to be careful what I say, Laura, given that I work at the olde spa attraction now opened as an art gallery and library... but I secretly agree with you, especially as spa water bathing is rising in popularity in Europe. As for the decaying buildings, I must say that my beloved council is slowly working on a programme of improvement and rejuvenation... one day Leamington will hopefully recover it's former glory as the Midlands most premier town...!

TimeWarden, alas Halle Berry has, to my knowledge, never taken my waters... but if she's reading this she has an open invitation.

MOTHER OF MANY said...

Brilliant claim to fame,hopefully he should manage to get a few free pints out of that in his home town!

Steve said...

As long as he doesn't drink and drive, Ally... ;-)

Daisy said...

see that is why they don't bring the bond car where i live...there are no cliffs in flatville illinois...crashing into a corn field is not exciting at all...

Reluctant Blogger said...

Not sure how I missed this yesterday!

It is a rather tenuous claim to fame isn't it?

The best man at my wedding was from Leamington but he does not live there any longer.

My father-in-law's father (great FIL? the great grandfather of my sons anyway) was actually called James Bond.

Inchy said...

My home town's claim to fame is that The Bard of Bards, Robert Burns, slept in a house in the High Street one night. I kid you not.
There's even a blue plaque on the wall to commemorate the occasion.

Steve said...

True Daisy, but Mr Bond could drive very fast through the cornfield and test the torque (or whatever it is car enthusiasts go on about) as the ears fly about in abandon. Wow. That almost sounds poetic.

Hi Gina, tenuosity is my middle name. It's great for anagrams if nothing else. ;-)

Inchy, Robert Burns parking his arse in a local house is a cool claim to fame. All we have in Leamington is a house where Nathaniel Hawthorne once lived (author of The Scarlet Letter). Oh and apparently Wellington once stayed in a local hotel. Hmm. Both hundreds of years ago. We're hardly celebrity central are we?