I’ll be honest. Despite being a denizen of the internet for the last 15 years I am not up on the whole social networking scene.
I dragged my heels with Facebook (and still grit my teeth when I use it).
I tried MySpace and loathed it so dumped it. I now have NoSpace and am much happier.
Skype I’ve heard about but can’t bring myself to install.
Messenger I have permanently disabled because I hated the way it would launch itself on me as soon as I turned on my PC (like being hounded by a happy-clappy stalker).
Twitter I use infrequently and cynically, i.e. only when I have a blog post to sell.
I admit I tried ICQ (remember that?) in the early days but found it bothersome and frustrating – I’d be at my computer trying to do stuff and people would bug me for inane conversations overloaded with smilies and emoticons.
Emoticons. Urgh. I hate both the word and the concept. Let’s break it down: emotions / cons. You get my drift? :-P
But some Social Networking facilities have made it through my taste firewall. LinkedIn is one of them. It seemed a good idea at the time and helped me to reconnect with an old friend but since then I hardly use it. I’m Connected with a handful of people – some old school friends, some blogging pals and, er, that’s it.
Nobody – and I mean nobody – has used the site to contact me in the manner recommended by the site’s administrators, i.e. nobody has offered me work / money / commissions / contracts. It has done absolutely zilch for my career prospects.
But nevertheless I’m on there. Pimping myself. Or rather, pimping my online persona. Links to my web site and this blog. The kind of unthinking self promotion that we all do from time to time.
Suddenly, within the space of 2 weeks, I have had Connection requests from 2 people who work in the same Local Government corporation as me. People who I see once in a blue moon and only ever in a professional capacity. One of them is very, very high up in the corporation hierarchy. Very high up.
I confess it has put me in a spin.
You see, I don’t want these people getting too close to my online persona. I don’t want them reading my blog and the comments upon it and realizing what a cynical, back-stabbing little turncoat I am. I want them to continue thinking I’m a good boy who keeps his head down and deserves the money that they keep paying me every month.
This Connection thing is too close for comfort.
And utterly pointless.
I mean, what’s the good of them Connecting to me on LinkedIn? Are they going to offer me a job?
Hello? I’m already here.
So the barricades have gone up. And by barricades I mean I have ignored the email from LinkedIn – including the reminder email that tells me these people are still waiting for me to confirm a Connection with them.
I don’t want a Connection with them. The real life connection is bad enough. I don’t want them following the breadcrumb trail back to this ‘ere blog and the harsh excoriating heart of my lifelong malcontent.
I am simply too anti-social for Social Networking.
Too curmudgeonly. Too grumpy. And that’s the plain honest truth.
I mean, they’ll be wanting me to Poke them next. And that folks is just an interaction too far.
I think I may just have to be permanently AFK.
That’s all, folks. Goodbye.
P.S. Do feel free to RT this post.