Monday, June 20, 2011

Luck Be A Lady

Me and Lady Luck, we’ve never been constant. Never arm in arm for long. I’ve never been sure of whose fault it is but, for all it’s nice when we’re together, one of us (and I’m casting no aspersions here) can’t keep it up.

Things go sour very quickly and then we part. We go our separate ways.

Take when I was a kid. I didn’t win a Penny Chew for years and then one summer week at Weymouth Carnival I won three prizes on the raffle in a single day. Three.

And then nothing. Absolutely nothing ever again.

Until recently.

Because over the last month Lady Luck plainly took a shine to my blogging exploits and hooked up with me once more. We were an item once again. I couldn’t move but she was there shaking her tush at me and winking, "Fancy a punt?" Not ‘alf!

First, thanks to a mini competition at Don’t Panic. RTFM I won this:

George Foreman Family GrillI think of it as the George Formby grill. And not just because anything I cook on it will probably end up looking like a chamois leather.

And then last week Lady Luck hit me with her twin bazookas and thanks to Bringing Up Charlie I won the following two prizes:

Love triangle
LegoUnbelievable.

Chocolate and Lego. For me, that’s like the Ark of the Covenant and The Holy Grail. Luck, I love you and you can shake those tassles in my face as hard and as fast as you like.

I was on a roll. I could feel it. Dead cert. No shit.

So on Saturday I bought one of these:

LotteryGoing for the big one, oh yes.

And then Monday morning I headed into work as sodding usual.

Luck, you’re a fickle bitch.



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51 comments:

MOTHER OF MANY said...

Many say that good luck comes in threes so it may be that is why you didn't win the lottery.
So perhaps you wait until you win something again and THEN buy a Lottery Ticket.Am I making sense?Probably not!
I once won a basket of wine and I don't drink BUT it did make a good Christmas Present for someone else :)

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

I won some Father's Day chocolates from a competition on Bringing up Charlie too. It hasn't arrived yet so the lucky recipient, the husband, has an IOU...though I doubt he'll get his hands on it, if it reaches me first.

The Dotterel said...

Come on... surely you'd sooner have the Lego?

Steve said...

Ally: I have to say, I did wonder if I was pushing my luck just a little bit.

Trish: ah - a fellow winner! I think I';m more excited by the Lego than the chocolate... but keep that quiet!

Steve said...

The Dotterel: OK, smartarse, you got me on that one.

Being Me said...

Ha, Tim! So blatantly obvious he'd rather have the Lego. Me, I'd go that Toblerone in a second. No, really. It would probably only take me that long to devour it. My favourite.

Well good for you! And what the heck is a Penny... what was it again? Penny Chew? Must be an English thing?

Rol said...

Ah, but what would you have done with all that money anyway? You'd have probably just got bored and had to give a huge chunk of it away... to me.

Steve said...

Being Me: am I really that trasparent? Plainly I am. If it's any consolation, I shall eat the Toblerone and think of you. As for a Penny Chew - it's not a euphemism for anything naughty: they were chewy sweets that cost a mere penny (in today's money: about £5.50).

Rol: I'm not sure I'd ever get that bored. ;-)

Gorilla Bananas said...

It's known as the George Foreskin grill for those with a taste for crispy meat tidbits. Maybe Lady Luck will give her your hand if you get your todger trimmed.

Steve said...

Gorilla Bananas: unlikely to happen I'm afraid; a childhood accident with a Breville sandwich press taught me never to cook naked.

Suzanne said...

Chocolate and LEGO! Get in!!!

Heather said...

You're going to dining out on this story for a while aren't you? Remind me not to invite you round for a dinner for a few months....

Steve said...

Suzanne: the chocolate certainly will.

Heather: but I thought the High Court injunction was still in place?

bobble said...

Getting the numbers 1, 2, 3 AND 4 on a lucky dip seems particularly unlucky. Unless they'd actually come out, in which case you'd probably have won a fortune.

linda@adventuresinexpatland.com said...

Loving this! I guess the best Lady Luck ever did for me was to win a 'tequila set' (ceramic plate with places for the lime, salt and shot glass) back in college...it came in very handy at the time.

libby said...

Wa-hey! lego and chocolate...well done!

Steve said...

Bobble: reminds me of an episode of Rab C. Nesbit where he'd chosen the numbers 1,2,3,4,5 and 6 for his lottery ticket. The draw was 7,8,9,10,11 and 12.

Linda: I'm guessing that shot glass got a lot of use? That's a great prize!

joebloggs said...

If it wasn't for bad luck I would have no luck at all. Mind you there was that one time with Keeley Hawes, a large pot of Nutella and a Han Solo figurine...

Owen said...

Steve, if you send me 50 quid I'll be happy to tell you what next week's winning numbers will be... would you like my Paypal address ?

Well, I'll settle for a chunk of chocolate instead...

Steve said...

Libby: it's a great haul and no mistake!

Joe: curse you, you know I'm not averse to a bit of Keeley (well, a couple of bits actually) and Han Solo was always my favourite Star Wars character. The Nutella I can live with.

Owen: do I look like the kind of fool who'd throw £50 away on nothing just like that? Besides which I need that money to fork out for a lottery ticket every bloody week...

Anonymous said...

Hey Dude, it's bad karma. You must have done something really uncool Think back: there it is, right? You know you shouldn't have but you did. Now you're a marked man.Lady luck will play with you man. She'll wind you up, but she won't let you down gently.

The only way to get the jinx off you back is to be real nice to a few people. It can be anyone you know.

How about being nice to that Marginalia. He's a fun guy and he's on good terms with lady luck.

Here's to you kid.

Steve said...

Hmm. Hello Anonymous. Your writing voice has a familiar tone to it. I just can't place it but it's on the tip of my tongue... Have we met before? Read each other's blog? Do you like gardening by any chance?

Mark said...

Ever heard that joke about the bloke who won the lottery. He says to his wife, 'What would you do if I won the lottery?'.
"I'd take half your winnings and bugger off quick so you I never had to see you again'
'Excellent, here's your fiver now..****.. off'

Stick to Lego I'd say.

Steve said...

Mark: I agree. I wouldn't give half my Lego collection to anybody.

Alienne said...

That is a damn fine looking bar of toblerone, I must say. Next time I am at my mother's I must ask her where my old Lego is - probably the attic. My two never bothered to go past Duplo, they said Lego was too small. Kids these days are so lazy.

Kelloggsville said...

I'm still not over the whole grill affair and I feel this is simply rubbing salt into my pan fried wounds.

Steve said...

Alienne: if your Lego is looking for a good home... just drop me a line. ;-)

Kelloggsville: do you want chips with that?

The Sagittarian said...

well, if that ol' tart is toying with you then she's leaving someone else alone eh? I know for a fact she hasn't visited me for AGES!!

Löst Jimmy said...

Don't worry Steve, I'll send her back around to your gaff when I'm finished with her here...

bigwords is... said...

Damn you lottery ticket. It failed me too!! I think it's cool you've won some stuff, particularly the chocolate!!

Vicky said...

We have a big super draw in tonights lotto about $10m, so this morning bought myself a ticket..so will see you all here same time tomorrow LOL

Steve said...

Amanda: do you know what? If I could, I'd get her to take all my prizes back and send the luck to you instead. Seriously.

Löst Jimmy: treat her mean, keep her keen. ;-)

Bigwords is: the chocolate is vying for coolness with the Lego in my mind.

Vicky: funnily enough I have a Euro Lottery ticket for tonight. That one cost me £2. I don't know why I just don't throw all my money down the drain and have done with it.

Old Cheeser said...

Well done Stevenage! Well deserved there. I think I agree with Mother of Many, unfortunately luck does tend to come in "bunches" and then kind of fizzles out. Great about the lego and choccie though, and I love the sandwich maker - very throw back to the 1980s. We had one of those once.

Steve said...

OC: would it help if I won the Lottery jackpot 3 times? I'd be very happy to make that kind of sacrifice.

Very Bored in Catalunya said...

I was also going to comment on the numbers you picked on your lottery ticket, but seeing as someone else has I won't.

Not a bad haul of prizes, just think now everytime you have a pork chop night you can say "turned out nice again" in a Wigan accent!

What do you mean it's not that George?

Steve said...

Very Bored in Catalunya: eeh, and there's even a lamppost right outside me house upon which I can lean and watch various little ladies go by...until the pigs arrest me for lewd and licentious behaviour, that is. Coppers! As if!

I do all that on me windowcleaning round.

Suburbia said...

Love it!

It comes in 3's you see, you'd used all yours up....for now

Steve said...

Suburbia: but surely when you're really lucky you get more than 3?

Readily A Parent said...

You have won my undying affection and adoration - that makes up for not winning the lotto, doesn't it?

Yeah, no, I didn't really think so. Lady luck is a fickle bitch but when she's good she's very very good. Lego AND chocolate. Obviously a prize meant just for you.

Steve said...

Readily A Parent: put like that there are plainly some things that not even Lady Luck herself can win you... and then on top of that there's still Lego and chocolate. OK. Maybe Lady Luck isn't such a bitch after all. ;-)

About Last Weekend said...

Don't. Stop. Believing! (Someone should write a song with that title). I keep thinking one day I'll be catapulted into scrillionaire-dom but still be the same person of course...Well done on your other wins.

Steve said...

About Last Weekend: I have to say I'm more than happy for the money to change me. ;-)

Phil said...

"For a change, lady luck seemed to be smiling on me. Then again, maybe the fickle wench was just lulling me into a false sense of security while she reached for a rock."

Edgar Allan Poe..on the night of his last birthday. He was found dead the next day. Stark bollock naked and looking a little confused.

Steve said...

Phil: where was the rock? For some reason the possibilities worry me.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Dude! The only thing better than chocolate and lego and George Foreman is grilled chocolate lego. Mmmmmmmmm....

Keith said...

One of my favourite quotes, "Luck is the residue of Design" Ponder on.

Steve said...

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip: or as we call it in my house - grilled chocolate lego and a broken George Foreman grill.

Keith: so I'm looking for a German bird with a bit of vorsprung durch technik?

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Ah well, life can get a lot worse than a grilled Toblerone.

Steve said...

Laura: that should be a Buddhist mantra.

Keith said...

That would be a 'vogel'.

Steve said...

Keith: danke schon.