Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Return Of The Doggy Hat

Tom's doggy hatThis post comes with huge apologies fitted as standard.

You may remember (those of you who are not chasing the dragon or hooked on crystal meth) that, back in August, I launched a global interpol-approved appeal to find my youngest son's doggy hat (please see the picture above). I described Tom's distress at the loss. I described how we'd retraced our steps in the hope of relocating a much loved item of head attire. I told how all our sleuthing efforts had been in vain.

The hat was gone and gone forever.

Some callous, unfeeling person must have half-inched it from where it had lain helpless on the pavement. Probably Keyser Söze - if you look carefully in the final scene in The Usual Suspects you can see Tom's doggy hat hanging out of his back pocket.

Or there's the one armed man in The Fugitive. He could have it too. Because just before he shoots Harrison Ford's wife (no, not Calista Flockhart) I saw Tom's doggy hat hanging off his prosthetic hook-arm-thing. It could have been a hankie but I'm pretty sure it was the hat.

And then we saw Tin Tin the other day and I was flabberghasted to see Captain Haddock wearing the doggy hat in the motorbike chase - only briefly. Blink and you would have missed it.

In short I was seeing the damn thing everywhere.

Never mind that I'd made you lot trawl the streets and the internet for a replacement. Never mind that Tom had finished with his grieving and had moved on. I just couldn't let it go.

And then during a bout of Autumn cleaning I found the blessed thing behind the sofa.

It had been there all the time. It had never been lying, abandoned in the street. It had never been stolen by persons callous and unknown. It had never made it into Speilberg's latest CGI animated extravaganza.

It had been brought back safely into the house and tossed nonchalently behind the sofa by an individual who, knowing not what he did, shall remain blameless and unnamed for all perpetuity. *cough*Tom*cough*

Apologies for the panic, people. Please stand down and go about your normal business. Situation is green once more. Abort fighter jets. Do not press the red button.

As you were.



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29 comments:

Dicky said...

I hate losing things soooo much. A friends son lost a hat will out on a walk one day. The hat was a present from his granddad; purchased in Tibet! Poor kid was gutted.

Steve said...

Dicky: yup. I'm the same. It seems to go against the laws of nature for things to be lost. I haven't progressed past the kiddy stage of "...but it's miiiiine!!!"

Kelloggsville said...

I was looking at hats in London last week still looking for the doggy hat. Clearly I need stronger drugs. So pleased it has turned up.

Steve said...

Kelloggsville: you are a star. Really. You were still looking? I feel both grateful and guilty.

Being Me said...

I'll tell Qantas, shall I, and they can call the whole thing off?

Sooooo pleased. Was there a huge reunion or is Tom as fickle as the next toddler about his Chosen One?

Gorilla Bananas said...

There's no point apologising to us! You've got to apologise to all those honest townsfolk you wrongly accused of theft. I suggest you go door-to-door telling them you're sorry. And then wear a scold's bridle for a week.

Steve said...

Being Me: Tom was very pleased to see it back but rather tellingly hasn't yet worn it. Instead he's stuck to the replacement hat when he's gone out. I think he likes the idea of doggy hat being safe at home.

Gorilla Bananas: have you ever been to Leamington Spa? It's like Mos Eisley - a wretched hive of scum and villainy. They'll have taken my accusations as faint praise, I can assure you.

Meg said...

My dog is a thief of the worst kind, the first place I ALWAYS look is behind the sofa, and undoubtedly I will find not only the shoe I lost last spring, but also a number of trinkets whose origin I have no idea of. Next time you lose something ask me to look behind MY sofa.

Steve said...

Meg: if my things get lost behind your sofa I am calling Professor Brian Cox... because clearly a wormhole will have opened up in time and space. P.S. If you find a Buck Roger's sticker of Wilma Deering from the early eighties... it's mine.

the fly in the web said...

Sofas have something of the fifth dimension about them...you could be right about those wormholes....I try not to look.

Steve said...

The fly in the web: I often hear the big band sound coming from the back of mine... I suspect Glen Miller might be lurking.

Alienne said...

I am glad he's got his hat back; if he is anything like my kids he will have transferred his affections to the replacement by now anyway. Kids are very fickle.

Steve said...

Alienne: yep, doggy hat is being punished for his perfidy and his desertion by being ignored.

Lady Mondegreen's Secret Garden said...

You've got Glenn Miller playing behind your sofa? Show me your wormhole...

Great news about the Doggy Hat

English Rider said...

How do you know that it was there the whole time? Is it a coincidence that it turn up so close to Halloween? Queue spooky music someone...

Steve said...

Lady Mondegreen's Secret Garden: show me your wormhole? That's the best chat-up line I've had in a long time. Actually, it's the only chat up line I've had.

English Rider: hmm... maybe it did some travelling between the planes whilst we laboured on in our ignorance? I'm sure it smells of Harrison Ford's aftershave, you know...

Clippy Mat said...

Can you check down the back of your sofa and see if you can find my ring? I thought it had also gone forever, but now hope springs anew....
:-)

Steve said...

Clippy Mat: you want me to grope for your ring behind my sofa...?!?!

Trish @ Mum's Gone To ... said...

I spent a good hour hunting for a replacement on the Internet - and you were sitting on the original all along. Just think what I could have done with that hour. I do hope you have success wih Clippy Mat's ring as I'm certainly not searching for that on the computer.

Mark said...

I've just returned from Tin Tin (Real Steel was full) - now tell me, is that the worst film ever or am I just boring? Ok don't answer. I should have known... Typical action packed nonsense interspersed with more action packed nonsense, and then more action packed nonsense... I'm spoling a future blog now.

Didn't notice the hat though.

Clippy Mat said...

Steve yes, I've looked everywhere else so if there's a Bermuda Triangle for lost hats and rings, it might just be behind your couch, no?
?
:-)

Steve said...

Trish: I promise to spend an hour reading your blog to make up for it, if that's any help. I tried Googling Clippy Mat's ring but it gave me a funny turn.

Mark: ...ulp! We all really enjoyed it, even our 4 year old. And really, with all the chases, it's quite true to Herge's original.

Clippy Mat: haven't found your ring but I have found a number of boats and an old WWII B52 bomber.

joebloggs said...

You have inspired me to look at what was lurking under/behind my sofa and you will never guess what I found.....a. doggy hat! How weird is that, I never owned one before, must have something to so with Halloween.

Clipppymats ring has a worm hole? Eeeew!

London City Mum said...

I hate to say it, but this sounds eerily reminiscent of events in my own household.
Usually the fault for them going 'missing' is my anal obsession with clearing up.
Although if items WERE PUT BACK WHERE THEY BELONG IN THE FIRST PLACE we would never have these 'incidents'.

Sorry, was I shouting?

LCM x

Steve said...

Joe: I have a bloody great python in mine.

LCM: you were not shouting, merely making a valid point clearly. One I make quite often in my own household. If things ARE PUT AWAY PROPERLY they stand less chance of GOING MISSING in the first place.

Meg said...

....don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me, anyone else but me anyone else but me...cannot get these words out of my head for some reason, it is mind numbing. I have your sticker, putting it back in the wormhole. Hopefully it will get back to you before Buck Rogers is revived in the future!

Steve said...

Meg: they can revive it all they like but there'll only ever be one Erin Gray.

Wanderlust said...

Excellent! Now, can you find my daughter's glasses? And that one overdue library book? Because we've looked *everywhere*.

Steve said...

Wanderlust: I think I've found them. Gosh... I didn't think you could get that kind of book from the library...!