It is surely a sign of man’s irrevocable advancement into the digital age when even the arrangements for our deaths and the disposal of our worldly chattels has become pixelated and blue-toothed up.
News reaches me (via the internet – where else?) that due to the sheer amount of time people spend living on-line and accumulating digital assets ‘digital inheritance’ is now having to be added to last wills and testaments.
It is no longer enough to simply specify that you want your brother-in-law to inherit your collection of German porn or that you wish the secret knicker stash you have collected over the last ten years from the washing lines of your neighbours to be donated to Christian Aid. You must make specific provision for your internet files and folders; for your YouTube movies and your Flickr albums.
People are already bequeathing passwords and membership details for music download sites and on-line photo albums. No doubt dedicated on-line gamers are leaving their avatars to their next of kin to carry on the good fight long after they are worm feed (I was going to crack a joke here about Halo but can’t be arsed).
And it all kind of makes sense.
See, I’ve only had a computer since 2000 but already I have amassed a huge stockpile of files and photos that don't exist anywhere else but on my hard-drive or on a server somewhere in North America. Family photos and movies. Blog posts. Poetry and stories whose voices exist only in Word and not on paper. What happens to all this when I die unless I leave it to somebody?
And so it’s got me thinking.
I could leave my blog to one of you, couldn’t I? You could carry on writing it while I argue with St. Peter. You could pose as me or even, if you were that way inclined, contact a medium and ghost-write my blog for me from the afterlife. I’ll dictate it all to you via weird dreams and tarot readings.
But who? That’s the question. Who?
The only way to settle this is by launching a competition.
Tell me in the comments box why you should inherit my blog. Or even why you shouldn’t.
The runners-up will win a bequeathment that entitles them to full access to my accounts with frauleinswithhooverattachments.com and rackemhigh.co.uk. There will also be a booby-prize of full control of my MySpace page.
And ultimately the lucky winner will stand a good chance of being (a) ignored, (b) disinherited the very next time they offend me or (c) bumped off by my wife who I am sure is just itching to get her hands on my blog. I know it is all she ever dreams about.
In fact, I’m sure that’s why she is making strange strangulation gestures behind my back right now... er... I’d get in quick if I were you lot; you might receive your windfall early.