Normally I’d be deriding the shameless consumerism of Christmas.
The special editions, the special offers, the special prices, the special gifts to make loved ones feel special because it is unheard of to do that at any other time of the year...
But this year I am mystified by the sheer bad planning of DVD vendors during the seasonal period.
DVDs make great presents. They make easy presents. But easy in a good way; not lazy. A great movie can be a family treat or just a treat for an individual that they can enjoy again and again. A good movie can be an immersive experience, a flight of escapism. A good movie can uplift and enlighten.
It can also keep the kids occupied and out of your hair for up to 2 hours.
Movies are great.
I had a list of DVDs that I knew would make great presents for people this year. I’m not going to list them; just take it from me that they were all great, I have superb taste and I would have got you all something wonderful (because, yeah, I was going to send you all presents this Christmas but the vendors have foiled my plans).
I ploughed through my list online, tapping into my usual stockists and suppliers.
About 70% of the DVDs on my list aren’t being released until the New Year. That’s right. A frustratingly whopping 70%.
DVD after DVD crossed off my potential gift list.
DVD after DVD which I am now not going to buy.
To me it seems idiotic. The film industry is being hit by the recession like every other industry. Surely their marketeers must know that Christmas is the prime selling point of the year? The time when their wares fly of the shelves like chestnuts from an open fire proffered by an old bearded man in a stovepipe hat and fingerless mittens?
This is an immense lack of foresight and forward planning. Idiocy on a fathomless scale. It’s like Quality Street not selling their Christmas selection tin until March.
Now I know this is just a small gripe in the bigger scheme of things. Worse things happen at sea. Or even at the BBC. I know this. I’m not getting angina because of it.
I’m just saying, if you’re wondering why you haven’t received a Christmas present from me this year it’s because Debbie Does Derby isn’t being released until mid April.
And that’s it. There's nothing I can do about it. The DVD vendors plainly don’t believe in Father Christmas.
It looks like you’re stuck with Harry Hill’s Festive Burp on the telly.