It’s all money money money at the moment.
Or rather I’ve got no money money money.
I’ve just returned from a trip to the friendly neighbourhood dentist – the gloriously toothy Dr Hassan – who has given my molars and canines the once over with her hooked implements of stainless steel. The diagnosis is not good. They’re clean – yes – but I’m apparently grinding my teeth while I sleep with the result that they’re beginning to resemble Neolithic grindstones.
The solution is a night guard. It’s like a gum shield but far more expensive.
So what is causing me to grind my teeth, Dr Hassan asks me pleasantly.
Oh the usual I reply: money worries – mortgage, fuel prices, child care costs – all money that I haven’t got.
I know the feeling, she replies with a fragrant sigh, but the night guard should prevent your teeth from wearing away to nothing. In the meantime you must do what you can to cut down on the amount of stress that you are under (I nod obediently). By the way the night guard will probably cost about £200...
Grind grind gnash gnash... cue the sound of enamel splintering in my mouth.
Ooh, don’t worry I can fix that says Dr Hassan... but it’ll cost you...
And as for all my efforts to alleviate my money worries by getting an additional job... out of all the vacancies I’ve applied for only one has actually bothered to ring me back and dangle the promise of an imminent interview before me...
But that was over a week ago and I’ve heard absolutely nothing since; the mooted day for the possible interview has now long since lapsed and I’ve basically given up ever hearing from them again.
I can’t believe how hard it’s proving to pick up a simple part-time job. We’re talking menial labour here for God’s sake. It shouldn’t be this difficult! Should it?
I’ve come the conclusion that I am just eminently unemployable. Which is worrying. I’m “unemployable” but am employed full time by the local council.
I’m trying not to read too much into that...