It shames me to admit that, this weekend, I have been the victim of this.
You know how it goes. You get too close. You don’t give someone enough space. You press the wrong buttons.
Suddenly something gives.
A sudden quick movement.
Physical contact is made.
You’re left reeling. Shocked. In pain...
There is blood.
After Tom headbutted me he gave me a funny look – a look that said why were you trying to kiss the top of my head when I was playing with my Duplo Police Car anyway? Couldn’t you see I was busy?
He seemed uninjured by the encounter and carried on watching Cbeebies as if nothing had happened. Meanwhile I ran to the kitchen sink and spat the blood from my split lip down the plughole and checked my teeth. Thankfully they were all still there. Just a bit wonky but that’s normal.
Today I have a pout that is both scabby and bruised. I look like I’ve been Botoxed by a scheister.
I’m sure the Scottish contingent of my family will be smiling mawkishly at this story. Ah bless the wee bairn. His first Glasgow Kiss!
All I can say is, it effing hurt!
However after a quick counselling session Tom and I are fine again. We’ve talked it through using Gestalt therapy techniques and have come up with a relationship work plan which should prevent such acts of violence from ever occurring again...
I’m going to give him a bit more space when he’s playing and Tom... well, Tom, is going to carry on as normal.
Cos he’s just perfect as he is.