Monday, October 20, 2008

To Cap It All

The discussion turned to hat wear in the office today. I’m not sure why but it sure beat the usual chatter of who’s nobbing who and sundry plots to bring down the management (P.S. thanks for reading, dear work colleagues).

I don’t wear a hat but like most non-hat-wearers I’d secretly like to.

Or rather I’d like to have the style and panache to get away with wearing a hat without looking like a complete dick.

Over the years I’ve tried several in my vain attempts to find some skull-wear that actually suits me: panamas, trilbies, the ubiquitous baseball cap, even at one time a Goth cowboy hat courtesy of a brief dalliance with The Field Of The Nephilim.

And I’ve looked an idiot in all of them.

Of course it may be that I look an idiot out of them too but nevertheless I have persevered faithfully in my search.

Until finally, last year, during a wet week in Wales, I came at last across my bonnet paramour in a tacky climbing / souvenir shop in Betws-y-Coed.

The good old fashioned Great British cloth-cap.

I think Karen was as stunned as I was. My God. Here it is. A hat that actually suits me.

I didn’t buy it.

Why?

I have a penchant for wearing proper waterproof hill-walking jackets having given up on the efficacy of umbrellas years ago (they’re just mini money pits). Couple such a jacket with such a hat and you have...

...Foggy from Last Of The Summer Wine.

Need I say more? I may not have much choice when it comes to fashionable head gear but credit me with some sartorial sense.

12 comments:

Sky Clearbrook said...

I utterly abhor young blokes in oh-so-ironic flat caps. Particularly when they "teamed" with a beard. Just horrible.

Why would they want to look like a cross between an old man and late-70s Phil Collins? Bleurgh.

The Sagittarian said...

Oh I think that would be quite fetching! Maybe you could try for the "look" of the lead singer from ACDC instead (better than Andy Capp)

Steve said...

I quite agree, Mr S - hence my refusal to buy the cap (though I must say that the right to call myself a "young bloke" is probably dropping over the horizon to my back). I'd completely forgotten about Phil Collins too. And here was I thinking that Foggy was the worst of it!

Amanda, ACDC's front man has the kind of face that you just don't want to mess with. He could wear a shepherdess's bonnet and people would still be so scared of him they'd say it was cool just to keep him happy. I on the other hand have a face that people just want to laugh at. Why give them more ammunition?

skatey katie said...

i find it really hard to fit all my hair under a hat lol X

MOTHER OF MANY said...

Sadly in our family,when a hat says ONE SIZE FITS ALL it doesn't mean us thanks to my fathers rather large head circumference!
Therefore I have to make do with a scarf which when I wear it looks like an hijab.Which is not a problem but when you are almost 6 feet tall with blond hair and blue eyes, it does make you stand out a bit.

Anonymous said...

Nothing beats the knotted hanky on the head of a man of a certain age. Most becoming.

I am not great with hats either. They do not sit well on my hair - or maybe my head is just too big??

I did wear a beret when I was a student - I had loads of them, to coordinate with whatever I was wearing. I thought they looked great but I suspect I was wrong about that!

Tim Atkinson said...

Ah, but they keep you dry. And they don't blow inside out, or need carrying when the sun comes out. Go for the cap, Steve. But avoid the moustache.

Steve said...

Kate, I wish I could say the same thing...! ;-)

Ally, there's nothing wrong with standing out from the crowd! I have the opposite problem with my head - tends to be on the small size (no jokes please): a typical roundhead.

Gina, you may have something there: I could go for the knotted hankie - especially if I can combine it with a string-vest, grey baggy Y-fronts and really short shorts... I've always favoured the "On The Buses" prole on the beach look...

The Dotteral: I've had a moustache for the last decade and no head apparel is ever going to to make me remove it. Well. Except maybe a leather American style cop cap...

KAZ said...

But a flat cap can make a great weapon - if used frisbee style with a deadly intent.
I know - my grandad had one.

Steve said...

That's not a bad idea actually Kaz... I'm thinking Odd-job from one of the bond films... a hidden blade inside the cap at the front ought to do the trick. Just need to get my frisbee arm in...

Brother Tobias said...

It's all in the way you wear it. You need to practice in a mirror behind closed doors. Jaunty angle forwards; farmer. Jaunty angle, back of the head; market trader. Back to front; 1930s film director or racing driver. Worn in a car; puddle-jumper. My problem with any hat is that when you remove it I'm left with a hat-shaped hairstyle, a sort of ghost hat.

Steve said...

Hi Brother T, I must admit I quite fancy "1930s film director or racing driver." If only I could direct films or even just drive a car. I'm not sure I'd get away with it on a bicycle... give me some cobbled streets and I'd be like something out of the old Hovis adverts!

And I'm not sure if a ghost hat is a price worth paying!