I’ve just returned to my computer after getting my hair cut at one of Leamington Spa’s most recommended barbers, Francesco’s, in my lunch break.
Bloody hell but the guy who dealt with my hair was rough (not Francesco himself alas). Sweeney Todd just doesn’t come into it. I feel like my head has been savaged by an irradiated combine harvester driven by a rabid three-legged Alsatian high on turps.
The comb was scraped so hard across my scalp you can plant potato seeds in the furrows and my ears resemble a pair of McCoy’s crinkle cut crisps (cheese and onion flavour, thank you for asking).
Even the fluffy brush thing with which he finished off his follicle artwork was batted about like he was playing Australia in the Ashes. Six!
Wow. A haircut and an Indian head massage all in one go. Now that’s what I call service.
Thankfully his finesse with the scissors was exemplary. Bloody good job as I suspect he could have snipped the gonads off a gnat in mid flight with the ruddy things.
The man barely spoke – which normally doesn’t bother me as I like someone to concentrate when they’re swishing about my head and face with sharpened cutting devices – but he did have a weird penchant for humming the Yankee Doodle Dandy tune. Even weirder his mobile phone rang half way through and he deliberately left it unanswered just so he could listen to the ring tone...
Yes. You’ve guessed it: Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Played on a banjo no less.
As a ring tone...
I mean really!
But what about the haircut I hear you ask...
Hilarious account! Perhaps the barber is into S&M and his "leanings" were coming out via his hair-cutting?
Perhaps you should go to a slightly more...feminine salon next time? Don't try Toni and Guy though - ridiculously over-priced!
Sounds scarey, I suppose you should be grateful he didn't use a cut throat razor to finish the edges as they do in many European countries!
I'm just relieved that there wasn't a butcher's shop next door selling cut price pies...!
And actually he did whip out a cut throat razor to tidy up the back of my neck! I made sure I tipped him well... I figured it was best to stay on his good side!
*Gulp* My wife has just pointed out that there is a kebab house in very near proximity to the barbers... doner anyone?
Oh no…! This was another laugh… Yes, I guessed it… Yankee Doodle… it’d have driven me nuts if it’d gone on long enough…:-) You could be thankful that at least he didn’t snip off the tops of your ears (that’s happened to my brother before)…:-)
Snipped off the top of his ears?!?! Omigod!
Now that's what I call a short, back and sides. Now you see why most men are reluctant to trim their body hair...
Where are the before and after pics? Just teasing, Steve!
Have you seen the "Monty Python" sketch where the barber snips off the earlobe of his customer, on the one side, and does the other to make it match?! Ouch!!!
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