Monday, January 15, 2007

Russell Brand

Why do so many people rave about Russell Brand?

Personally I just can’t see it. Is it the moo-cow eyes? The pouty Barbie doll lips? The very carefully manufactured, teased and contrived bed-head hairdo? What?

The trouble with Russell is that it IS all so contrived. At one time, back in the early days, then yes, maybe the “just got out of bed hungovor” ineptitude was genuine. And maybe even charming because it was different – a little bit real, a little bit truly anarchic. A little bit “whoa”. A little bit “whoosh”.

But now it is just OTT and fake. Russell has become his own caricature and his stream-of-unconsciousness burblings just grate on my nellies like Leo Sayer in my bathtub with a loofah. Urgh. And just as nightmarish. I can’t believe Russell gets paid vast amounts of money for his poorly articulated enunciations and slack-jawed observations. If I want to listen to a pisshead then I’ll go down to my nearest boozer thank you very much and get wasted myself. I don’t want to see him on my telly being paid huge amounts of money for flapping his tongue about in a cocaine fuelled daze and running about with legs like 2 broken mop handles.

But hey. Maybe I’m missing the joke?

Maybe I ought to style my blog after Russell Brand’s style of sub-literary delivery?

“Yeah so this is my blog right and it’s great and all that so why don’t you log on and read some stuff if you want to – you don’t have to read all of it even though it’s all probably really good, no it is – yeah so you do have to read all of it actually cos that’s why I’m plugging it ain’t I and I talk about lots of things that are interesting and topical and oh yeah I’ve shagged 2000 women though not all at once obviously cos that would be like really amazing wouldn’t it and I’d be dead or something...”

Russell you must have shares in rohypnol cos you surely didn’t get them into bed by chatting them up…


-eve- said...

Really enjoyed this post, especially the last 2 paragraphs. I like your brand of humour...:-)

Steve said...

Thanks -Eve- do you get Big Brother and Russell Brand in Malaysia? If so what do you make of them, I wonder?

Old Cheeser said...

Yeah I think he's a bit of a div. And I don't know what women see in him - his hair looks like a bird's nest and he's ... just too weird!!

-eve- said...

I don't think we get either. But then again, I don't watch much TV (I live at my university hostel, so the whole floor shares one tv, and it's hard to fight to pick the channel, so I don't bother)

Anonymous said...

Hey! Sorry I dont know whats been up with the school computers they're pants!

But yeah, thought I'd drop a comment :)
Hope all is good.

Steve said...

Not too bad here, Tori, just wish I had more energy and less work... hope things are good with you too!

Anonymous said...

Eep. Ah dear.
All is good ta (: